Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[pg 45] THE MINTO-HOUSE MANIFESTO Some of our big mothers of the broad-
sheet have expressed their surprise that Lord John Russell should have
penned so long an address to the citizens of London, only the day before
his wedding. For ourselves, we think, it would have augured a far worse
compliment to Lady John had he written it the day after. These gentlemen
very properly look upon marriage as a most awful ceremony, and would,
therefore, indirectly compliment the nerve of a statesman who pens a
political manifesto with the torch of Hymen in his eyes, and the whole
house odorous of wedding-cake. In the like manner have we known the last
signature of an unfortunate gentleman, about to undergo a great public
and private change, eulogized for the firmness and clearness of its
letters, with the perfect mastery of the supplementary flourish.
However, what is written is written; whether penned to the rustling of
bridesmaids satins, or the surplice of the consolatory ordinarywhether
to the anticipated music of a marriage peal, or to the more solemn
accompaniment of the bell of St. Sepulchres.
Ha! Lord John, had you only spoken out a little year agohad you only
told her Majestys Commons what you told the Livery of Londonthen, at
this moment, you had been no moribund ministerthen had Sir Robert Peel
been as far from St. Jamess as he has ever been from Chatham. But so it
is: the Whig Ministry, like martyr Trappists, have died rather than open
their mouths. They would not hear the counsel of their friends, and they
refused to speak out to their enemies. They retire from office with, at
least, this distinctionthey are henceforth honorary members of the
Asylum for the Deaf and Dumb!
Again, the Whigs are victims to their inherent sense of politenessto
their instinctive observance of courtesy towards the Tories. There has
been no bold defianceno challenge to mortal combat for the cause of
public good; but when Whig has called out Tory, it has been in picked
and holiday phrase
As if a brother should a brother dare,
To gentle exercise and proof of arms.
For a long time the people have expected to see cracked crowns and
bloody noses, and at length, with true John Bull disgust, turned from
the ring, convinced that the Whigs, whatever play they might make, would
never go in and fight.
But have the Tories been correspondingly courteous? By no means; the
generosity of politeness has been wholly with the Whigs. They, like
frolicsome youths at a carnival, have pelted their antagonists with
nothing harder than sugar-plumswith egg-shells filled with rose-water;
while the Tories have acknowledged such holiday missiles with showers of
brickbats, and eggs not filled with aromatic dew. What was the result?
The Tories increased in confidence and strength with every new assault;
whilst the battered Whigs, from their sheer pusillanimity, became
noisome in the nostrils of the country.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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