Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
[pg 70] LORD MELBOURNES LETTER-BAG. The Augean task of cleansing the
Treasury has commenced, and brooms and scrubbing-brushes are at a
premiuma little anticipative, it is true, of the approaching turn-out;
but the dilatory idleness and muddle-headed confusion of those who will
soon be termed its late occupiers, rendered this a work of absolute time
and labour. That the change in office had long been expected, is evident
from the number of hoards discovered, which the unfortunate employés had
saved up against the rainy day arrived. The routing-out of this
conglomeration was only equalled in trouble by the removal of the
birdlime with which the various benches were covered, and which adhered
with most pertinacious obstinacy, in spite of every effort to get rid of
it. From one of the wicker baskets used for the purpose of receiving the
torn-up letters and documents, the following papers were extracted. We
contrived to match the pieces together, and have succeeded tolerably
well in forming some connected epistles from the disjointed fragments.
We offer no comment, but allow them to speak for themselves. They are
selected at random from dozens of others, with which the poor man must
have been overwhelmed during the past two months:
1. MY LORD,In the present critical state of your lordships situation,
it behoves every lover of his country and her friends, to endeavour to
assuage, as much as possible, the awkward predicament in which your
lordship and colleagues will soon be thrown. My dining-rooms in Broad-
street, St. Giless, have long been held in high estimation by my
customers, for
The rear end of a bull, with a braided tail and striped stockings. BEEF
A-LA-MODE;
and I can offer you an excellent basin of leg-of-beef soup, with bread
and potatoes, for threepence. Imitated by all, equalled by none.
N.B. Please observe the addressBroad-street, St. Giless.
2. A widow lady, superintendent of a boarding-house, in an airy and
cheerful part of Kentish Town, will be happy to receive Lord Melbourne
as an inmate, when an ungrateful nation shall have induced his
retirement from office. Her establishment is chiefly composed of single
ladies, addicted to backgammon, birds, and bible meetings, who would,
nevertheless, feel delighted in the society of a man of Lord Melbournes
acknowledged gallantry. The dinner-table is particularly well furnished,
and a rubber is generally got up every evening, at which Lord M. could
play long penny points if he wished it.
Address S.M., Post-office, Kentish Town.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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