Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
I will not pause to particularise the gradual diminution of our
property, but come at once to that period when, having consumed all our
superfluities, it become a serious subject of consideration, what should
next be sacrificed.
I will now proceed to make extracts from our general diary, merely
premising that our only attendant was an asthmatic individual named
Peter.
Dec. 2, 1808.Peter reported stockeight coats, eight waistcoats, eight
pairs of trousers, two ounces of coffee, half a quartern loaf, and a
haporth of milk. The eight waistcoats required for dinner. Peter
ordered to pop accordinglyproceeds 7s. 6d. Invested in a small leg of
mutton and half-and-half.
Dec. 3.Peter reported stockcoats idem, trousers idema mutton
bonerent duea coat and a pair of trousers ordered for immediate
necessitieslots drawnJones the victim. Moved the court to grant him
his trousers, as his coat was lined with silk, which would furnish the
trimmingsrejected. Peter popped the suit, and Jones went to bed. All
signed an undertaking to redeem Jones with the first remittance from the
country. Proceeds 40s. Paid rent, and dined on à-la-mode beef and
potatoesbeer limited to one quart. Peter hinted at wages, and was
remonstrated with on the folly and cruelty of his conduct.
Dec. 4.Peter reported stockseven coats, seven pairs of trousers, and a
gentleman in bed. Washerwoman calledgave notice of detaining linen
unless settled withtwo coats and one pair of trousers ordered for
consumption. Lots drawnSmith the victim for coat and trousersBrown for
the continuations only. Smith retired to bedBrown obtained permission
to sit in a blanket. Proceeds of the above, 38s.both pairs of trousers
having been reseated. Jones very violent, declaring it an imposition,
and that every gentleman who had been repaired, should enter himself so
on the books. The linen redeemed, leavingnothing for dinner.
Dec. 5.Peter reported stockfour coats, and five pairs of trousers.
Account not agreeing, Peter was called infound that Williams had
boltedJones offered to call him out, if we would dress him for the
daySmith undertook to negotiate preliminaries on the same
conditionsWilliams voted not worth powder and shot in the present state
of our finances. A coat and two pair of continuations ordered for
supplieslots drawnBlack and Edwards the victims. Black retired to bed,
and Edwards to a blanketproceeds, 20s. Jones, Smith, and Black,
petitioned for an increased supply of coalsagreed to. Dinner, a large
leg of mutton and baked potatoes. Peter lodged a detainer against the
change, as he wanted his hair cut and a box of vegetable pillsso he
said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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