Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, CompleteVarious
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, Complete
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The first prize was awarded to Master Palmerston, for a successful
design for completely frustrating certain commercial views upon China,
and for his new invention of auto-painting. Prize: an order upon Truefit
for a new wig.
Master John Russell was next called up.This talented young gentleman
had designed a gigantic penny loaf; which, although too immense for
practical use, yet, his efforts having been exclusively directed to
fanciful design, and not to practical possibility, was highly applauded.
Master Russell also evinced a highly precocious talent for drawinghis
salary. Prize: a splendidly-bound copy of the New Marriage Act.
The fortunate candidate next upon the list, was Master Normanby. This
young gentleman brought forward a beautiful design for a new prison, so
contrived for criminals to be excluded from light and society, in any
degree proportionate with their crimes. This young gentleman was brought
up in Ireland, but there evinced considerable talent in drawing
prisoners out of durance vile. He was much complimented on the salutary
effect upon his studies, which his pupilage at the school of design had
wrought. Prize: an order from Colburn for a new novel.
Master Melbourne, who was next called up, seemed a remarkably fine boy
of his age, though a little too old for his short jacket. He had
signalised himself by an exceedingly elaborate design for the Treasury
benches. This elicited the utmost applause; for, by this plan, the seats
were so ingeniously contrived, that, once occupied, it would be a matter
of extreme difficulty for the sitter to be absquatulated, even by main
force. Prize: a free ticket to the licensed victuallers dinner.
The Prince then withdrew, amidst the acclamations of the assembled
multitude.
A HINT TO THE NEW LORD CHAMBERLAIN. There is always much difference of
opinion existing as to the number of theatres which ought to be licensed
in the metropolis. Our friend Peter Borthwick, whose mathematical
acquirements are only equalled by his heavy fathers, has suggested the
following formula whereby to arrive at a just conclusion:Take the
number of theatres, multiply by the public-houses, and divide by the
dissenting chapels, and the quotient will be the answer. This is what
Peter calls
A man stands at a crossroads marked 'Fixed Duty' and 'Sliding Scale'
COMING TO A DIVISION.
VOCAL EVASION. LADY B (who, it is rumoured, has an eye to the
bedchamber) was interrogating Sir Robert Peel a little closer than the
wily minister in futuro approved of. After several very evasive answers,
which had no effect on the ladys pertinacity, Sir Robert made her a
graceful bow, and retired, humming the favourite air of
An artist is unhappy with a portrait. OH! I CANNOT GIVE EXPRESSION.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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