"Your Petitioners forbear to enter into the religious portion of the argument, as they do not exactly remember the text in the New Testament which forbids the walking in corn-fields, or gardens, or conservatories on the Sunday; but your Petitioners are of opinion that your Honourable House ought to preserve these privileges as heretofore for Earls, Bishops, and wealthy members of your Honourable House, who can afford to keep gardens and conservatories at their private expense. "Your Petitioners therefore pray your Honourable House to protect '_their native industry_'--by keeping the doors of the Crystal Palace and its gardens closed against the working classes of London." * * * * * THE CABMAN AND HIS PINT OF STOUT.--A FABLE. A Cabman, being inclined to drink, stepped into a public-house, and asked for a pint of stout, which he swallowed at a draught, and in payment for the liquor laid down a fourpenny piece. The landlord, who chanced to be serving in the bar, being a wag, called after his customer, as the latter was going, "Hi there, you!" to which the other, turning his head, replied, "Halloa!"--"Come, I say!" pursued mine host, "this here won't do!"--"Wot won't do?" demanded the other.--"Wot?" the landlord repeated; "wot's this here?"--"Wot's this here?" returned the cabman; "why, it's a fo'p'ny bit, isn't it?"--"Well, and wot then?" cried the landlord.--"Wot dy'e mean?" retorted the cabman.--"Wot do you mean?" rejoined the landlord; "wot dy'e mean this here for?"--"For a pint o' stout, to be sure," was the cabman's answer.--"Ho, ho, ho, ho!" shouted the landlord.--"Wot are yer larfin' at?" exclaimed the cabman, in astonishment; "Fo'pence a pint o' stout--ain't that right!"--"I s'pose," replied the landlord, "yer calls yerself a gentleman." Here the people who were tippling at the bar burst into a loud laugh, which awoke the cabman to a perception that the landlord had been making game of him. "Come, come," said Boniface, "I was only chaffin' you; but now I hope you'll see the propriety of takin' wot you're entitled to when you're offered it, without indulgin' in superfluous and unpleasant hobservations." * * * * * STRIKE OF THE WIVES OF ENGLAND. MR. PUNCH has received a letter, written in a bold feminine style, and sealed with a crest, a hand-and-patten--a letter, of which the subjoined are the contents:-- "At the present moment, when everything is rising, it behoves the Wives of England to be up and doing too. There are thousands--perhaps millions of my oppressed sisters this minute married to husbands in the human form who, with a meanness which ought to make them ashamed of themselves, allow so much and _no more_ for the expenses of the house. No matter what are the markets--the weekly allowance is the same. Bread may rise--butter may go up--legs of mutton may advance--and still no rise at home!