RUSSIAN IMPUDENCE.--A celebrated Diplomatist who lisps a little, being asked to define Russian Impudence, answered very significantly "Why, ith's beyond PRUTH!" [Illustration: PUNCH'S MEDAL FOR A PEACE ASSURANCE SOCIETY] * * * * * BREAKING-UP DAY AT WESTMINSTER. [Illustration: A GENERAL STRIKE.] The Director-General of the St. Stephen's establishment, _Mr. Punch_, proceeded, in one cab, to Westminster Hall, and, desiring a chair to be placed for him upon the top of the flight of steps at the further end, commanded that the gentlemen of the Upper and Lower Schools should forthwith attend him, for the purpose of hearing his opinion of their general and individual conduct, preparatory to their being dismissed for the holidays. It is needless to say that his orders were instantly complied with, and that the Westminster Boys at once assembled before him. The only exception was in the case of MASTER SIBTHORP, who sturdily refused to come, and for whom a policeman was dispatched. MASTER SIBTHORP expended much abuse, and several quotations from the Eton Grammar, upon the officer, but was ultimately brought in, and placed within convenient reach of _Mr. Punch's_ cane. _Mr. Punch_ then spoke as follows:-- "MY BOYS, "You have had a long half, but it is over, and I am glad to dismiss you for your vacation. The word vacation, SIBTHORP, is derived from the Latin, and originally signifies emptiness, for an illustration of which I will refer you to the head of the gallant member for Lincoln, or to the heads of those who can be such donkeys as to elect him. My boys, I am, generally speaking, satisfied with your conduct during the half. "BOYS OF THE UPPER SCHOOL, "I rejoice to find a marked improvement in the way you treat your themes. Your elocution is still open to amendment. I commend your regular adherence to the beneficial habit of early rising. I would caution you against quarrels amongst yourselves, arising from the use of intemperate speech or inapt quotation (_Masters_ DERBY _and_ OXFORD _blushed_); and I would remind you that no social position occupied by your papas and mammas exempts any of you from the duties which are imposed upon others (_Master_ WINCHELSEA _began to cry_). But, as a whole, you have pleased me this year, and I will add that the politeness with which you behave to ladies who may look in upon the establishment reflects great credit upon you, not unincreased by contrast (_Sensation among the Lower School_). "ABERDEEN, you are leader of the school, and I could wish you to display more energy. I applaud your love for a peaceful life, but remember that there is one thing better than peace, and that is, honour. In the map of Russia, which you have drawn, you have not defined the boundaries strongly and well, and you do not seem to know where Turkey begins and Russia ends. You will lose credit unless you exert yourself.