"LUCAS, you are a foolish lad. Instead of enjoying the rational and manly liberty of your companions, you cripple your mind with silly stories and legends, and do not take your meals regularly. I hear, too, that you are very ignorant of the history of Rome, which you appear to have learned at second-hand from some monkish book in dog-Latin. You are no credit to your class, Sir, and I believe I have told you before that you are Lucas, _à non lucendo_. "BROTHERTON, I applaud you for trying to get the school to bed by midnight, but you want perseverance, and let yourself be put down by any one who opposes you. If you are right and know it, never give way. Be firm, or you will not carry your objects--you cannot bolt a door with a boiled carrot, as you, as a vegetarian, ought to know. "PALMERSTON, you are a very spirited, gentlemanly, thoroughly English fellow, in whom I have the utmost confidence. All that you have done this half has been excellent. I believe it would give everybody pleasure to see you at the head of the school, and it rests with yourself whether you will be so or not. _Excelsior_, my good boy. By the way, I have of course nothing to do with your amusements, but I observed you gave MASTER CORDEN a tremendous back fall the other day. It has shaken him a good deal, but he richly deserved it for the sneaking way he came to the scratch. "SIBTHORP, as you say that you consider it an honour for me to notice you, why do you not so conduct yourself that what is certainly an honour to you may be a pleasure to me? (SIBTHORP _burst into tears_.) There, don't cry, you know I am never seriously angry with _you_. "BOYS ALL, "You may now go into your respective schools, and wait there until your monitors announce to you that vacation has begun." * * * * * THE LAND SCREW STEAM COMPANY. We believe the General Screw Steam Shipping Company is connected with the Port of Southampton. It may not be generally known that there exists another Screw Steam concern in connexion with that same good town. We mean the South-Western Railway, which, particularly by its arrangements respecting the Camp at Chobham, and the Review at Spithead, appears to have decidedly adopted the principle of the Screw. * * * * * A MAN WALKS--A LADY RIDES. A man should never object to exercise, for the gentleman is always distinguished by his walk; but there is this excuse to be made for a woman who takes but little exercise--that the lady is immediately known by her carriage. * * * * * [Illustration: MR. PUNCH PAYS A FINAL VISIT TO THE CAMP, AND TAKES OFF HIS HAT TO A RATHER GLORIOUS OLD RAG.] * * * * * FIGHTING FREWEN AND SOBER SHELLEY.