It is perfectly well known, and firmly believed by many of the gullible,
that some clairvoyants, by the mere inspection of a lock of a patient's
hair, are able to ascertain his complaint and also to prescribe for it,
without having acquired any knowledge of medicine. We are informed by a
person of quality, on whom we can depend, that a certain clairvoyant
having had a portion of hair shown to him the other day, instantly
pronounced the individual it had belonged to a lunatic, and recommended
that the whole head should be shaved. The declaration of the
somnambulist was remarkably verified, and the propriety of his advice
demonstrated, by the fact, that the individual who had owned the hair
turned out to be a gentleman who had been sending conscience money to
the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER "for omitted Income Tax."
* * * * *
A Present for Aberdeen.
The _Times_ correspondent writes that English sailors are dying,
poisoned by the miasma and mosquito bites at the mouth of the Danube,
blocked up by the atrocity of Russia. And what says ABERDEEN? Nothing.
We have heard of such visitors as a flea in one's ear; now, by way of a
memento of dying British tars, we wish LORD ABERDEEN had just one
mosquito in his night cap.
* * * * *
SEA SNIPS.
Battle steamers will, perhaps, in one sense of the word, be correctly
denominated Navy tailors, in consequence of cutting out men of war.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "_Oh!! Look'ee here, Sir, here's a warm long enough to
last you a fortnight._"]
* * * * *
OUR HONEYMOON.
WEDNESDAY--MAY 29, 18--.
"Now, my dear FRED--if I could only feel certain you were quite ashamed
of yourself, you don't know how comfortable I should be? Call yourself a
Christian, and going out murdering people!" I couldn't help saying as
much: no, quite the reverse.
"But nobody's hurt," said FRED, laughing. "Besides, now we're the best
friends in the world."
"Well, men _are_ creatures, to be sure! To make friendship over bullets
and gunpowder. And supposing you'd been killed? Now, just to satisfy me,
just for a moment suppose that?"
Whereupon, in his odd way, he stared in my face; and said he thought the
calamity would have mightily become me.
"And to have been made a widow for another person--and that person,
one's own servant. But I have given JOSEPHINE warning"--
"Nonsense!" said FREDERICK, and I _did_ stare. "Nonsense, my darling,"
he repeated in his tender way; but I was not to be persuaded.
"Why, the creature was bold enough before. But with the thought in her
head that her master had been fighting a duel, and all about her, she'd
be as conceited, the house wouldn't hold her. She _goes_: now, it's no
use talking, of _that_ I'm determined."
"And so because a foolish young man--not but what he's a very good
fellow--_will_ write letters to a silly girl"--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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