THE ENGLISH HIPPOPOTAMUS, AT THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS, to the FRENCH
DITTO, AT THE "JARDIN DES PLANTES."
"MON CHER HIP.,--I have been reading the account of your glorious
reception at Paris. Don't you allow your simple head to be turned by the
homage you have been receiving. Look at me, and profit by the ridiculous
lesson.
"But a short time ago I was as great a favourite as you now are. I was
run after worse than a Nepaulese Ambassador--though what little lustre
there was about me was all my own--not a single diamond shone in my
ears! and my nose (at present so snubbed) was unconscious of the
smallest precious stone! No valuable Cachemire was coiled round my head,
that, in a moment of admiration, I could unroll and lay at the feet of
my fair worshippers. What little merit I possessed consisted in my
native ugliness; and though I flatter myself I am as ugly now as I was
then, still no one runs after me now.
"As it was with me so it will be with you. My word for it, your nose
will be similarly put out of joint by M. DUPIN, or some other
monstrosity. I was the rage, the fashionable lion of the day. Thousands
of ladies tore their dresses, and fought with their parasols, to get a
passing peep at me. They called me 'dear,' 'duck,' 'pet,' and other fond
terms of female endearment; and much they care about me at present!
Casts were made of me in sponge-cake, and adorned the pastrycooks'
windows. You saw my portrait in the frontispiece of every polka. No
periodical was complete without my biography, whilst my bulky
proportions were multiplied in a thousand different shapes, either in
snuff-boxes, ink-stands, salt-cellars, butter-boats, or else figured on
ladies' brooches. And where, I ask, am I now? I hide myself in the mud
of my bath, with shame and indignation, when I think of the base
ingratitude of the public.
"I cannot believe you are any uglier than I was. I will not pay you so
egregious a compliment. I will say you possess the same bountiful share
of recommendations. In that case I beseech you, _mon cher_ animal, not
to allow your brain to be affected by the popular incense that at
present is being burnt under your admired nostrils. It is ever the
fickle taste of Fashion to forget to-morrow the idols it is worshipping
to-day. Believe me, and I speak as one who is both a hippopotamus and a
brother, you will be as little run after, as little cared about this
time next year, as I now am. At present you are _un charmant
hippopotame_, the _fêted_ curiosity of the moment; wait another
twelvemonth, and they will say of you, as they do of me, that you are
nothing better than a great pig, or, worse still, they will call you
probably, in their insulting vernacular, '_un gros cochon_'. Ponder, be
wise, and don't grow too conceited.
"Such is the affectionate advice of
"_Mon cher Hip_, your old _camarade du Nil_,
"THE HIPPOPOTAMUS (_of the Zoological Gardens_).
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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