Whilst impatient his badges of serfdom to lose, Each Chinese without fail parts his head from his tail, And henceforth minds his _toupées_ instead of his _queues_. _Mr. Punch_--whilst applauding their courage, and lauding Their natural wish to recover their freedom-- Still thinks that society may with propriety Expect him a brief "screed o' doctrine" to read 'em. So he summons their leader, and says, "You indeed err, If you think that this triumph your labour will terminate; When the Mantchews have vanished, there still must be banished Many faults which for ages you've suffered to germinate. Your own gross inhumanity, cunning, and vanity, Which still are so great that I cannot ignore 'em, Helped the Mantchews, who knew you right well, to subdue you, As the Mongols and Khalkas had oft done before 'em. You have broken your chains of to-day with small pains; But hereafter, if courage and honesty you lack, you Will be conquered once more--like your fathers of yore, By the might of some yet to come KUBLAI or HULAKHU; For the hordes of the North are still ripe to burst forth. As oft in their tents the rude minstrel or rhymer Tunes his harp in the praise of those glorious days, When their sires fought bravely for GENGIS or TIMUR. To conclude. If you'd thrive, you must earnestly strive To rub out of men's minds the stern dictum of TENNYSON, That 'in Europe one day beats a year in Cathay,' And thereto _Punch_ heartily gives you his benison." * * * * * HINT TO RAILWAY ROGUES. There is a certain arrangement which Railway Directors would do well to adopt in the construction of their time-tables. It is one very generally prevalent among that class of tradesmen whom Railway Companies, for the most part, resemble, generally, in their manner of doing business, considered with reference to fairness and honesty. At present, the hours of arrival and departure are given in the tables--together with a simple disclaimer of the obligation to keep them. This is like giving an I.O.U., under protest of non-liability for the amount; a coarse and clumsy mode of shirking responsibility, and, what is worse, an ineffectual one, being impracticable in law. A far preferable device would be that of printing the hours in large letters with the qualification of "somewhere about" prefixed in very small. By this expedient the appearance of contradicting an engagement would be presented without the reality, and the comfort of security would attend the advantage of swindling. * * * * * RIVAL REAPING-MACHINES. We hear a great deal about the merits of some rival reaping-machines, but we know of nothing that can equal in the force of rivalry those wonderful reaping-machines--a barrister's tongue, and a physician's finger and thumb; which are the means used by both in reaping their tremendous harvests. * * * * * AN IMPERIAL SWEEP.