Puppets at Large: Scenes and Subjects from Mr Punch's ShowAnstey, F.
General
Puppets at Large: Scenes and Subjects from Mr Punch's Show
Anstey, F.
English wit and humor
This afternoon I saw the yellow stand which the Wooden Captain used to
occupy. What memories it recalled, ah me! Can he have disgraced himself
and been "broke"? And am _I_ responsible?
_Christmas Eve._--Am sitting in my corner, my mouse curled comfortably
at my feet, when the Walking Postman comes up with a letter--for _me_!
It is from the Wicked Doll! He is very ill--_dying_, he thinks--and
wishes to see me. How well I remember that _other_ message which
Joseph--but Joseph is taken, and the Ball still bounds! Well, I will go.
It will be something to tell my Diary.
* * * * *
_Christmas Day._--Something _indeed_! How shall I begin my wondrous
_incredible_ tale? I reached the Doll's House, which looked gloomier and
more deserted than ever, with the sullen glow of the dying fire
reflected redly in its windows. The green door stood open--I went in.
"Ha, ha! _trapped_!" cried a sneering voice behind me. It was the Wicked
Doll! His letter was a _ruse_--he was as well as I was--and I--I was
shut up there in that lonely house, entirely at his mercy!... It was a
frightful position for any doll to be placed in; and yet, looking back
on it now, I don't think I minded it so _very_ much.
"Listen!" he said, in response to my agonized entreaties. "Long, long
ago, when I was young and innocent, a beautiful but heartless being
bewitched me, kid and bran! I told my love--she mocked at me. Since then
I have sworn, though she has escaped me, to avenge myself by sacrificing
the life of the first doll I could entice into my power. _You_ are that
doll. You must die!"... "I am quite prepared," I told him--"do your
worst!" which seemed to confuse him very much. "I will," he said,
"presently--presently; there is no hurry. You see," he explained, in a
tone almost of apology, "in endeavouring to save her life (it was my
last good action) I got my head smashed, and received the substitute I
now wear, which, as you will observe, is that of an unmitigated villain.
And it's no use having a head like that if you don't live _up_ to
it--_is_ it, now? So--as I think I observed before--prepare for the
worst!" "Don't talk about it any more--_do_ it!" I said, and I breathed
Joseph's name softly. But the Wicked Doll did nothing at all. I began to
feel safer--it was so obvious that he hadn't the faintest notion _what_
to do. "She treated me abominably," he said feebly; "_any_ doll would
have been annoyed at the heartless way in which Gloriana----"
I could contain my feelings no longer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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