MRS. P.-W. Nonsense, Cecilia, nonsense. You _won't_ break down, and it wouldn't matter in the least if you did. _They_ wouldn't notice anything. And it will be such excellent practice for you to get accustomed to a platform, too. Of _course_ she will play for you, dear Mrs. Flittermouse! MRS. FLITT. It will be _so_ good of you, Miss Weaver. And it won't be like playing to a _real_ audience, you know--poor people are so easily pleased, poor dears. Then I will put that down to begin with. (_She makes a note._) Now we must have something quite different for the next--a reading or something. LADY HONOR HYNDLEGGS. A--nothin' _humorous_, I hope. I do think we ought to avoid anythin' like descendin' to their level, don't you know. MR. LOVEGROOVE. Might try something out of _Pickwick_. "_Bob Sawyer's Party_," you know. Can't go far wrong with anything out of Dickens. MISS DIOVA ROSE. Can't endure him myself. All his characters are so fearfully common; still--(_tolerantly_) I daresay it might amuse--a--that class of persons. MRS FLITT. I must say I agree with Lady Honor. We should try and aim as high as possible--and well, I think _not_ Dickens, dear Mr. Lovegroove. _Tennyson_ might do perhaps; he's written some charmin' pieces. MR. LOVEGR. Well, fact is, I don't go in for poetry much myself. But I'll read anythin' of his you think I'm equal to. MRS. FLITT. Why--a--really, it's so long since I--and I'm afraid I haven't one of his poems in the house. I suppose they are down at Barn-end. But I could send to Cutt and Hawthorn's. I daresay _they_ would have a copy somewhere. MISS SIBSON-GABLER. Surely Tennyson is rather--a--retrograde? Why not read them something to set them _thinking_? It would be an interesting experiment to try the effect of that marvellous Last Scene in the _Doll's House_. I'd love to read it. It would be like a breath of fresh air to them! MRS. P.-W. Oh, I've seen that at the Langham Hall. You remember, Cecilia, my taking you there? And Corney Grain played _Noah_. To be sure--we were _quite_ amused by it all. MISS S.-G. (_coldly_). This is _not_ amusing--it's a play of Ibsen's. MRS. FLITT. Is that the man who wrote the piece at the Criterion--what is it, _The Toy Shop_? Wyndham acted in it. LADY DAMP. No, no; IBSEN is the person there's been all this fuss about in the papers--he goes in for unconventionality and all that. I may be wrong, but I think it is _such_ a mistake to have anything unconventional in an entertainment for the people. MRS. FLITT. But if he's being _talked_ about, dear Lady Dampier, people might like to know something about him. But perhaps we'd better leave Ibsen open, then. Now, what shall we have next? MISS SKIPWORTH. I tell you what would fetch them--a skirt-dance. I'll dance for you--like a shot. It would be no end of fun doin' it on a regular platform, and I've been studyin' Flossie Frillington, at the Inanity, till I've caught her style exactly. [Illustration: "To-night is ours!"]