“I must go,” she said. “I came--” She hesitated, and a sudden desire to
have him know her as herself swept over her. It needed only another lie
or two in the beginning, and then some truth would come through to
sustain her. She went on: “I came because I wanted to know what you were
like; Tom had talked so much of you, and I wanted some one to understand
and perhaps explain; and now I must go and leave your warm, delightful
room for the comfortless place I live in. Don't think too hardly of me.”
Amory shook his head. “You don't leave me until you have had your tea.”
He rang the bell. “But what do you mean by a comfortless home? Does Mrs.
White neglect you?”
She looked at the fire. “I don't live with her--now; I live alone; I
work for my living.”
Amory got up as the maid brought in the tea-tray, and setting it beside
them, he poured out her tea; as he handed her the cup, he brought his
brows together sternly, as though making out her very mysterious words.
“You work for your living?” he repeated. “I thought you lived with Mrs.
White, and that they were well off.”
“I did, but now I've come back to my real life, which I would have left
had I married Tom.”
He nodded. “I see. I had heard awfully little about it all; I was away,
and then it was so quickly done.”
“I know,” she went on, hurriedly; “but let me tell you, and you will
understand me better later--that is, if you want to understand me.”
“Most certainly I do.” Amory sustained the strange sad gaze of her
charming, heavy-lidded eyes in a sort of maze. Her mat skin looked
white, now that her blushes were gone, and her delicate, irregular
features a little pinched. He drank his tea and watched her while she
talked.
“I teach music,” she began; “to do it I left my relations in the country
and came to this horrible great city. I have one dreary, cold room, as
unlike this as two rooms can be. I have tried to make it seem like a
home, but when I saw this I knew how I had failed.”
“Poor little girl!” said Amory.
“I have the ordinary feelings of a girl,” she went on, “and yet I see
before me the long stretch of a dreary life. I love music; I hear none
but the strumming of children. I like pictures, books, people; I see
none. I like to laugh, to talk; there is no one to laugh with, to talk
to. I am very--unhappy.” The last words were spoken very low, but the
misery in them touched Amory deeply.
“Poor little girl!” he said again, and gently laid his hand on the arm
of her chair. “But how can Tom know this and let you go? You are
mistaken in Tom, I am sure, and--”
The girl straightened her slender figure and rose. “Oh no! it is all
right. He doesn't love me, your Tom; and so the world goes--I must go,
too. I--”
“Don't go,” said Amory. “Let me--” She shook her head. “You have no more
to do; you have comforted and warmed and fed a hungry wanderer, and she
must make haste home. Thank you for everything; thank you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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