“Yes,” Minver said, facing about toward me. “How do you excuse yourself
for your ignorance in matters where you're always professionally making
such a bluff of knowledge? After all the marriages you have brought
about in literature, can you say positively and specifically how they
are brought about in life?”
“No, I can't,” I admitted. “I might say that a writer of fiction is a
good deal like a minister who continually marries people without knowing
why.”
“No, you couldn't, my dear fellow,” the painter retorted. “It's part of
your swindler to assume that you _do_ know why. You ought to find out.”
Wanhope interposed abstractly, or as abstractly as he could: “The
important thing would always be to find which of the lovers the
confession, tacit or explicit, began with.”
“Acton ought to go round and collect human documents bearing on the
question. He ought to have got together thousands of specimens from
nature. He ought to have gone to all the married couples he knew, and
asked them just how their passion was confessed; he ought to have sent
out printed circulars, with tabulated questions. Why don't you do it,
Acton?”
I returned, as seriously as could have been expected: “Perhaps it would
be thought rather intimate. People don't like to talk of such things.”
“They're ashamed,” Minver declared. “The lovers don't either of them, in
a given ease, like to let others know how much the woman had to do with
making the offer, and how little the man.”
Minver's point provoked both Wanhope and myself to begin a remark at the
same time. We begged each other's pardon, and Wanhope insisted that I
should go on.
“Oh, merely this,” I said. “I don't think they're so much ashamed as
that they have forgotten the different stages. You were going to say?”
“Very much what you said. It's astonishing how people forget the vital
things, and remember trifles. Or perhaps as we advance from stage to
stage what once seemed the vital things turn to trifles. Nothing can be
more vital in the history of a man and a woman than how they became
husband and wife, and yet not merely the details, but the main fact,
would seem to escape record if not recollection. The next generation
knows nothing of it.”
“That appears to let Acton out,” Minver said. “But how do _you_ know
what you were saying, Wanhope?”
“I've ventured to make some inquiries in that region at one time. Not
directly, of course. At second and third hand. It isn't inconceivable,
if we conceive of a life after this, that a man should forget, in its
more important interests and occupations, just how he quitted this
world, or at least the particulars of the article of death. Of course,
we must suppose a good portion of eternity to have elapsed.” Wanhope
continued, dreamily, with a deep breath almost equivalent to something
so unscientific as a sigh: “Women are charming, and in nothing more than
the perpetual challenge they form for us. They are born defying us to
match ourselves with them.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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