“You think so?” cried Payne, not waiting for her to finish. “Why did you
complain, then, of taking up the burden of common things? Do you want to
be reminded of what you told me? You said that the roving life you had
been leading in Europe for the past two years had unsettled you. You
said you wanted to live among the old things and the dreams of old
things. You liked the sense of irresponsible delight, and weren't
prepared to say that you could ever assume the dull domestic round in a
commonplace town. You considered the love of one human creature
altogether too small and banal a thing to make you forego your
intellectual incursions into the lands of delight. You were of the
opinion that you loved many thousand creatures, most of them dead, and
to enjoy their society to the full it was necessary for you to look at
the cathedrals they had builded, to read the books they had written, or
gaze upon the canvases they had painted. You were in a poppy sleep on
the mystic flowers of ancient dreams. Wasn't that it? So I, a mere
practical, every-day fellow, who had shown an unaccountable weakness in
staying away from home a full year longer than I had any business to,
was to go back alone to my work and my empty house, and console myself
with the day's work. You were to go walking along the twilight path
where the half-gods had walked before you, and I was to trudge up a
dusty road fringed with pusley, and ending in a summer kitchen. Isn't
that about it?”
She spread out the folds of her gown and looked down at them in a
somewhat embarrassed manner, seemingly submerged by this flood of
protesting eloquence.
“You were afraid to look anything in the face,” he went on, not giving
her time to recover her breath. “You thought you could live in a world
of beauty and never have any hard work. I suppose if you had seen the
gardener wiping the sweat off his brow you would not have picked any of
the roses in that garden at Lucerne. I suppose not! Well, let me assure
you of one thing-there's commonplaceness everywhere. Probably some one
had to wash those white dresses Sappho used to wear when she sat beside
the sea. Maybe Sappho did them up herself, eh?”
He stopped and gave way to his bathos, throwing back his head and
laughing heartily.
“Well, well, I'm through with railing at you. But I left you eating
lotus, hollow-eyed and steeped in dreams. You were listening to the surf
on Calypso's Isle. I was hearing nothing but the sound of your voice.
Now I've stumbled on a soporific philosophy, and am getting all I can
out of the anaesthesia, and you are reproaching me. It's like your
inconsistency, isn't it?”
She put up one hand to stop him, but he went on, recurring once more to
the poet:
“The Worldly Hope men set their Hearts upon
Turns Ashes--or it prospers; and anon,
Like snow upon the Desert's dusty Face
Lighting a little Hour or two, is gone.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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