She turned into the hail and saw Queed on the stairs. He halted his
descent five steps from the bottom, and she came to the banisters and
stood and looked up at him. And if any memory of their last meeting was
with them then, neither of them gave any sign of it.
"You know--?"
"No, I don't know," he replied, disturbed by her look, he did not know
why, and involuntarily lowering his voice. "I came down expressly to
find out."
"Fifi--She--"
"Is worse again?"
"She ... stopped breathing a few minutes ago."
"_Dead!_"
Sharlee winced visibly at the word, as the fresh stricken always will.
The little Doctor turned his head vaguely away. The house was so still
that the creaking of the stairs as his weight shifted from one foot to
another, sounded horribly loud; he noticed it, and regretted having
moved. The idea of Fifi's dying had of course never occurred to him.
Something put into his head the simple thought that he would never help
the little girl with her algebra again, and at once he was conscious of
an odd and decidedly unpleasant sensation, somewhere far away inside of
him. He felt that he ought to say something, to sum up his attitude
toward the unexpected event, but for once in his life he experienced a
difficulty in formulating his thought in precise language. However, the
pause was of the briefest.
"I think," said Sharlee, "the funeral will be Monday afternoon.... You
will go, won't you?"
Queed turned upon her a clouded brow. The thought of taking personal
part in such mummery as a funeral--"barbaric rites," he called them in
the forthcoming Work--was entirely distasteful to him. "No," he said,
hastily. "No, I could hardly do that--"
"Fifi--would like it. It is the last time you will have to do anything
for her."
"Like it? It is hardly as if she would know--!"
"Mightn't you show your regard for a friend just the same, even if your
friend was never to know about it?... Besides--I think of these things
another way, and so did Fifi."
He peered down at her over the banisters, oddly disquieted. The flaring
gas lamp beat mercilessly upon her face, and it occurred to him that she
looked tired around her eyes.
"I think Fifi will know ... and be glad," said Sharlee. "She liked and
admired you. Only day before yesterday she spoke of you. Now she ... has
gone, and this is the one way left for any of us to show that we are
sorry."
Long afterwards, Queed thought that if Charles Weyland's lashes had not
glittered with sudden tears at that moment he would have refused her.
But her lashes did so glitter, and he capitulated at once; and turning
instantly went heavy-hearted up the stairs.
XV
_In a Country Churchyard, and afterwards; of Friends: how they take
your Time while they live, and then die, upsetting your Evening's
Work; and what Buck Klinker saw in the Scriptorium at 2 a.m._
Queed was caught, like many another rationalist before him, by the
stirring beauty of the burial service of the English church.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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