Queenie's whim, Volume 1 (of 3) : $b A novelCarey, Rosa Nouchette
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Queenie's whim, Volume 1 (of 3) : $b A novel
Carey, Rosa Nouchette
English fiction -- 19th century
Queenie was a little hard in her judgment, as young people often are
in their estimate of things and people. There was selfishness, and
possibly oppression, in the continual sisterly sacrifice demanded as
a right; in the unpitying claims made on the health and time so
ungrudgingly bestowed upon her.
In life, real life, we see these sort of sacrifices perpetually
exacted before our eyes somehow. Human flesh and blood revolts
against the sight. The strong, sometimes the young, compelled to put
away their own life, and spend some of their best years chained to
the couch of helplessness; condemned to share the burthen of an
invalid existence; exposed to petty tyrannies and tempers, and
bearing them out of pity for the suffering that provokes them.
Sometimes, indeed, it may be a labor of love, a life within a life,
of many-folded sweetnesses blossoming out of the pain, as in the case
of an afflicted parent or husband. Nay, one often see admirable
lives of sisterly or brotherly devotion. Yet are there sadder cases,
when duty and not love is the main-spring of action; when the
self-sacrifice is bitter though voluntary; when the watcher would
willingly change places with the watched, that the bounding pulse of
health might be subdued; that the keen suffering of repression and
yearning, and God only knows what bitter measure of woman's pain,
might be dulled and quieted by mere bodily weakness.
To be free, only to be free, and live their own lives--that is what
some women vainly crave; and then a stone is given them for bread.
Instead of work comes waiting--the hardest and most trying form of
work; instead of freedom a mesh of finely-woven duties, light as
gossamer threads, yet binding the conscience like cart-ropes.
Queenie sat and mused with inward rebellion while Charity talked
about her books, and showed her manuscript volumes of finely-copied
extracts. "I always write out passages that please me; it is such a
resource to read them afterwards. I want Faith to do the same, but
she likes mending and watering her flowers. I prefer thoughts to
flowers, Miss Marriott."
"Every one has a right to their taste. I think I share Miss
Faith's," returned the girl, a little ungraciously. She felt no pity
for the bright-eyed, faded little woman, who made so much of her
life, and hid away her sufferings bravely, much as the silk, patched
coverlet hid the useless shrunken limbs.
She would not even allow to Cathy that she could have ever been
pretty, as they walked home together through the summer rain.
"Her face does not attract me in the least, there is nothing in it;
and then her cheek-bones are so high, and her curls are so thin and
limp. Now, if she only braided them nicely under a little close
cap--and then her tongue; oh, Cathy! I think she would drive me
distracted in a week."
But Cathy stood up stoutly for Miss Charity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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