Queenie's whim, Volume 3 (of 3) : $b A novelCarey, Rosa Nouchette
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Queenie's whim, Volume 3 (of 3) : $b A novel
Carey, Rosa Nouchette
English fiction -- 19th century
"But not yours, my dear brother," her cheek turning pale at this
chance allusion. How often, poor woman, a bow was drawn at a venture
and wounded her in this random way.
"Yes; mine. Why not? Am I better than other people? Just look at
the bearings of my case: here I am, involved in debt and difficulty,
with years of hard work and harass before me, fighting inch by inch
for independence; what if I do care for this girl?" his voice
softening in spite of himself. "Do you think I am such a mean,
poor-spirited fellow that I should throw myself and my poverty and my
family claims at her feet, and ask her to take me in spite of it all,
and endow me with her riches?"
"If she loves you her riches need be no obstacle to either of you,"
she returned firmly.
"Well, perhaps not, in your view of the case; I have hardly made up
my mind about that. But what of this debt, Langley? do you think I
shall know peace until I have wiped it off? To be a debtor to a
woman, and, worse than that, to the woman I love; is it within the
limits of possibility that I can entertain the thoughts at which you
still hint until I have at least paid back to her every farthing of
this money?"
"And how long will it take you to do that?"
"Two years, at the present rate of things; at the very best a year
and a half?"
"Two years of suspense. Oh, Garth, how cruel!"
"Cruel to act like an honest man, and not take advantage of a simple,
inexperienced girl? What does she know of life and men?" he went on;
"has she ever seen any worthy of her interest? For shame, Langley!
you are thinking more of me than of her; you are not her best friend
by any means. Let her leave us, let her quit Hepshaw, and assume her
proper station; let her have the opportunity of judging us fairly,
and comparing us with others. How do you or I know that she will not
meet with some one far more worthy of her than ever I shall be?"
"Garth, my dear brother, this is truly generous; but I know Queenie,
she will stand your test, hard as it is, but she will suffer
terribly."
"She will not suffer as much as I, who am sending her from me. Do
you think it is no suffering to have to alienate her by a coldness I
must assume, for her good as well as mine? Do I not know her? am I
blind or without feeling? If I were to say to her, 'I am poor, but I
love you; will you take pity on me?' I am sure--yes, I am sure of
what her answer would be; but, as I am an honest man, I will not take
such mean advantage of her."
"Is this your final decision, Garth--to leave her free for two years?"
"Yes, it is," he replied slowly, but his face was pale, and he
frowned heavily as he spoke. "It must be two years, I am sure of
that, and then I will not speak to her unless I see my way clear
before me. And now we had better finish with this, it is somehow
getting too painful for me; I suppose I may trust to you not to
betray me?"
"I must not give her a hint of your real intentions?" rather
pleadingly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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