Queenie's whim, Volume 3 (of 3) : $b A novelCarey, Rosa Nouchette
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Queenie's whim, Volume 3 (of 3) : $b A novel
Carey, Rosa Nouchette
English fiction -- 19th century
"How can I do this mean thing?" he repeated again and again to
himself. "Even if Langley be right, and she has grown to care for
me, it may be only temporary, and she has seen no one else. Ought we
not to urge her rather to leave Hepshaw and take her proper position
in the world! It may be a dangerous test perhaps, as Langley says,
and it may end in my losing her altogether, for how can I give her
her freedom and expect her to be faithful? but at least my conscience
will be clear." And then he swore to himself that, as far as he was
concerned, he would not coerce her movements. If she went his
judgment would applaud her resolution; if she stayed his trouble
would be a hard thing to bear, for he must then wrap himself up in
reserve and coldness, and this would be difficult to him. "She
cannot really misunderstand me, the thing is too evident," he said,
striving to comfort himself. And indeed he was not without some
interior consolation; his very self-sacrifice and unselfishness,
constrained and unnecessary as they might appear to others, gave him
a certain feeling of strength and security. His conscience was
clear, his independence assured and well-defined, while somewhere,
deep down in some hidden recess, lay a secret hope of Queenie's
steadfastness and fealty. Langley's words still rang sweetly in his
ears: "She will stand the test, severe as it is, but she will suffer
terribly." Ah! well, would he not suffer too?
But this meeting was painful to him. What was he to say to her? and
how was he to bring himself to speak of what was in his mind without
betraying his hidden trouble, and perhaps hurting her feelings?
"Were you going to see Langley?" he asked, just when the silence was
becoming embarrassing.
"Yes; is she at home?" returned Queenie venturing to raise her eyes,
and then becoming conscious all at once of Garth's paleness, and
evident constraint of manner.
"She was sitting at her needlework when I left her just now, and was
lamenting that Cathy was not there to help her. I think we miss
Cathy more and more every day."
"I know I do," sighed Queenie, and there came over her a sudden
yearning to unbosom herself to this faithful friend. Langley was
good to her, but she was not Cathy.
Garth echoed the sigh, but scarcely for the same reason. Cathy's
warm-hearted sympathy would not have helped him.
"I have just left Miss Cosie. Mr. Clayton, have you nothing to say
to me, nothing special, I mean?" Queenie was growing desperate,
while Garth was secretly marvelling at her boldness. His paleness
and changed looks filled her with dismay. "I think you must have
something to say to me," with a little sharpness in her voice.
That roused him in a moment.
"Yes; of course we have a great deal to say to you, Miss Marriott. I
told Langley last night that she ought to write to you. I need
hardly tell you, I suppose, that you have our warmest congratulations
on your good fortune?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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