Quincy Adams Sawyer and Mason's Corner Folks: A Picture of New England Home LifePidgin, Charles Felton
General
Quincy Adams Sawyer and Mason's Corner Folks: A Picture of New England Home Life
Pidgin, Charles Felton
New England -- Fiction
"Well, we haven't got so far along as to set the day exactly," said
Hiram.
"And I don't believe 'Zekiel and Huldy will get married any sooner than
you and Mandy will," remarked Quincy. "But don't say a word about this,
Hiram."
"Mum's the word," replied Hiram. "I am no speaker, but I hear a thing or
two."
"Now, Hiram," said Quincy, "run in and tell Mandy I'll be in to lunch as
usual, and then come back, for I have something more to say to you."
Hiram did as directed, and Quincy sat and thought the situation over. So
far he had been patient and he had borne the slings and arrows hurled at
him without making any return. The time had come to change all that, and
from now on he would take up arms in his own defence, and even attack
his opponents.
When he had reached this conclusion, Hiram reappeared and resumed his
seat on the chopping block.
Quincy asked, "In what regiment did the singing-master go to war?"
"The same one as I did,--th Mass.," replied Hiram.
"Did you go to war?" inquired Quincy.
"Well, I rather guess," said Hiram. "I went out as a bugler; he was a
corporal, but he got detailed for hospital duty, and we left him behind
before we got where there was any fightin'."
"Was he ever wounded in battle?" asked Quincy.
"One of the sick fellers in the hospital gave him a lickin' one day, but
I don't suppose you'd call that a battle," remarked Hiram.
"Well, how about that rigmarole he got off down to the grocery store
that morning?" Quincy interrogated.
"Oh, that was all poppycock," said Hiram. "He said that just to get even
with you, when you were telling about your grandfathers and
grandmothers."
Quincy laughed.
"Oh, I see," said he. "Were you ever wounded in battle, Hiram?"
"Well, I was shot onct, but not with a bullet."
"What was it," said Quincy, "a cannon ball?"
"No," said Hiram. "I never was so thunderin' mad in my life. When I go
to regimental reunions the boys just joke the life out of me. You see I
was blowin' my bugle for a charge, and the boys were goin' ahead in
great style, when a shell struck a fence about twenty feet off. The
shell didn't hit me, but a piece of that darned fence came whizzin'
along and struck me where I eat, and I had a dozen stummick aches inside
o' half a minute. I just dropped my bugle and clapped my hands on my
stummick and yelled so loud that the boys told me afterwards that they
were afraid I had busted my bugle."
Quincy laid back in his chair and laughed heartily.
"What do the boys say to you when you go to the reunions?" he asked.
"They tell me to take a little whiskey for my stummick's sake," said
Hiram, "and some of them advise me to put on a plaster, and, darn 'em,
they always take me and toss me in a blanket every time I go, and onct
they made me a present of a bottleful of milk with a piece of rubber
hose on top of it. They said it would be good for me, but I chucked it
at the feller's head, darn him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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