"Erna! is it possible? Is every voice silent in your heart? Does
nothing stir, nothing plead for one whom once you--I dare not say the
word any longer, for I must fear to offend you again if I remind you of
what once was? Great heavens! and I had thought, that if my pen were
powerless, and my pleading on paper appeared clumsy and lifeless, I
should but require to be once more face to face with you, looking into
your loved eyes whilst you looked into mine, and that then you would
believe me even before I uttered a word. And now, now, my glance is
powerless, my words are mere sound. I no longer know what to say; I am
standing here like a beggar who has been telling his story of bitter
woe, and in whose face people close the door at which he has knocked
with trembling hand. Have I become so poor? Well, I am most unwilling
to appeal to a friend for help, but you leave me no choice. There is,
living in your own circle, a gentleman who is in the secret, to whom
the Princess has told it, half involuntarily; drawn on by the vivacity
of her temperament, which she has never learned to control, half
voluntarily, hoping that she was not betraying anything which all, or
at least all concerned, would not know to-day. Well, this hope of hers
has not been fulfilled. The gentleman in question knows it; and not
deeming himself, under the circumstances, justified in speaking, he
will, if I judge him correctly, be silent, although the Princess has
already given him full liberty, nay, has entreated him to tell you all.
I must confess, I was much taken aback when, a little time ago, she
came and told me this; apart from other considerations, it was painful
to me to know that the key to the fatal enigma was in the hands of a
third person. But now, when, to my sorrow, I realise my impotence, let
him plead for me, if he will. He will do it, if I, too, entreat him. I
have barely exchanged three words with him, but looks like his, so
imbued with the true nobility of the soul, cannot lie. Ask him--you
will believe him!"
"Never!"
"You will not believe him?"
"I will die rather than hear from him, speak to him of ... It is a
shame, a shame! This is going too far. What happened before was ... but
this, this ..."
"How now? By the heavens above us, what is the meaning of this?"
"The meaning is this: my last word to you is, Begone!"
"I go. But one thing more, and let it be my last word. It is very
bitter to have to say it. There is one greater misfortune yet than to
see one's love misjudged, scorned, rejected, and that is, to have to
say to one's self that she whom one had loved more,--a thousand times
more than one's self,--is surpassed by other women, whom one had never
dared to put on the same level as her, had barely dared to compare with
her, in kindness and in generosity."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account