"Yes, mamma, I knew that," said Rachel. "I saw his phaeton drive off;
that's why I came over from Mrs. Sturt's."
Rachel's voice was hard, and there was no comfort in it. It was so
hard that Mrs. Ray felt it to be unkind. No doubt Rachel suffered;
but did not she suffer also? Would not she have given blood from her
breast, like the maternal pelican, to have secured from that clerical
counsellor a verdict that might have been comforting to her child?
Would she not have made any sacrifice of self for such a verdict,
even though the effecting of it must have been that she herself would
have been left alone and deserted in the world? Why, then, should
Rachel be stern to her? If misery was to fall on both of them, it was
not of her doing.
"I know you will think it's my fault, Rachel; but I cannot help it,
even though you should say so. Of course I was obliged to ask some
one; and who else was there that would be able to tell me so well
as Mr. Comfort? You would not have liked it at all if I had gone to
Dorothea; and as for Mr. Prong--"
"Oh! mamma, mamma, don't! I haven't said anything. I haven't
complained of Mr. Comfort. What has he said now? You forget that you
have not told me."
"No, my dear, I don't forget; I wish I could. He says that Mr. Rowan
has behaved badly to Mr. Tappitt, and that he hasn't paid his debts,
and that the lawsuit will be sure to go against him, and that he will
never show his face in Baslehurst again; and he says, too, that it
would be very wrong for you to correspond with him,--very; because a
young girl like you must be so careful about such things; and he says
he'll be much more likely to respect you if you don't,--don't,--don't
just throw yourself into his arms like. Those were his very words;
and then he says that if he really cares for you, he'll be sure to
come back again, and so you're to answer the letter, and you must
call him Dear Mr. Rowan. Don't call him Luke, because young men think
so much about those things. And you are to tell him that there isn't
to be any engagement, or any letter-writing, or anything of that sort
at all. But you can just say something friendly,--about hoping he's
quite well, or something of that kind. And then when you come to the
end, you had better sign yourself 'Yours truly.' It won't do to say
anything about affection, because one never knows how it may turn
out. And,--let me see; there was only one thing more. Mr. Comfort
says that you are a good girl, and that he is sure you have done
nothing wrong,--not even in a word or a thought; and I say so too.
You are my own beautiful child; and, Rachel,--I do so wish I could
make it all right between you."
Nobody can deny that Mrs. Ray had given, with very fair accuracy, an
epitome of Mr. Comfort's words; but they did not leave upon Rachel's
mind a very clear idea of what she was expected to do. "Go away in
debt!" she said; "who says so?"
"Mr. Comfort told me so just now. But perhaps he'll send the money in
a money-order, you know."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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