It had been, too, a matter of pride to him that Mr. Comfort and Mrs.
Butler Cornbury should thus be made to understand him. He would say
nothing of himself and his own purposes to any of them. He would
speak neither of his own means nor his own stedfastness. But he
would prove to them that he was stedfast, and that he had boasted
of nothing which he did not possess. When Mrs. Butler Cornbury had
spoken to him down by the Cleeves, asking him of his purpose, and
struggling to do a kind thing by Rachel, he had resolved at once that
he would tell her nothing. She should find him out. He liked her for
loving Rachel; but neither to her, nor even to Rachel herself, would
he say more till he could show them that the business about the
brewery was no longer unsettled.
But up to this moment--this moment in which he was standing on the
bridge, he had not determined what he would say to Rachel or to
Rachel's mother. He had never relaxed in his purpose of making Rachel
his wife since his first visit to the cottage. He was one who, having
a fixed resolve, feels certain of their ultimate success in achieving
it. He was now going to Bragg's End to claim that which he regarded
as his own; but he had not as yet told himself in what terms he would
put forward his claim. So he stood upon the bridge thinking.
He stood upon the bridge thinking, but his thoughts would only go
backwards, and would do nothing for him as to his future conduct.
He remembered his first walk with her, and the churchyard elms with
the setting sun, and the hot dances in Mrs. Tappitt's house; and he
remembered them without much of the triumph of a successful lover.
It had been very sweet, but very easy. In so saying to himself he by
no means threw blame upon Rachel. Things were easy, he thought, and
it was almost a pity that they should be so. As for Rachel, nothing
could have been more honest or more to his taste, than her mode of
learning to love him. A girl who, while intending to accept him,
could yet have feigned indifference, would have disgusted him at
once. Nevertheless he could not but wish that there had been some
castles for him to storm in his career. Tappitt had made but poor
pretence of fighting before he surrendered; and as to Rachel, it had
not been in Rachel's nature to make any pretence. He passed from the
bridge at last without determining what he would say when he reached
the cottage, but he did not pass on till he had been seen by the
scrutinizing eyes of Miss Pucker.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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