Our landlady first wept on hearing our determination, and then longed
to have the pulling of certain whiskers (with the tongs, and they
should be red-hot); but from that day, and for as many as were left to
us, the good soul made more of us than ever. Not that she was at all
surprised; dear brave gentlemen who could look for burglars on their
bicycles at dead of night, it was only what you might expect of them,
bless their lion hearts. I wanted to wink at Raffles, but he would not
catch my eye. He was a ginger-headed Raffles by the end of January, and
it was extraordinary what a difference it made. His most elaborate
disguises had not been more effectual than this simple expedient, and,
with khaki to complete the subdual of his individuality, he had every
hope of escaping recognition in the field. The man he dreaded was the
officer he had known in old days; there were ever so many of him at the
Front; and it was to minimize this risk that we went out second-class
at the beginning of February.
It was a weeping day, a day in a shroud, cold as clay, yet for that
very reason an ideal day upon which to leave England for the sunny
Front. Yet my heart was heavy as I looked my last at her; it was heavy
as the raw, thick air, until Raffles came and leant upon the rail at my
side.
“I know what you are thinking, and you’ve got to stop,” said he. “It’s
on the knees of the gods, Bunny, whether we do or we don’t, and
thinking won’t make us see over their shoulders.”
II
Now I made as bad a soldier (except at heart) as Raffles made a good
one, and I could not say a harder thing of myself. My ignorance of
matters military was up to that time unfathomable, and is still
profound. I was always a fool with horses, though I did not think so at
one time, and I had never been any good with a gun. The average Tommy
may be my intellectual inferior, but he must know some part of his work
better than I ever knew any of mine. I never even learnt to be killed.
I do not mean that I ever ran away. The South African Field Force might
have been strengthened if I had.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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