“But though it is plainly our duty to cultivate this spirit of submission and trust in God under all circumstances, yet it is most important that we should endeavour so to provide against calamity, that, if it comes, we may not have the pain of thinking how much our sufferings have been brought about by our own misconduct God has so ordered things in this world, that our success or failure will always depend much upon ourselves. “It has been truly remarked, that only in one relation of life is choice left to us. You will see that I refer to the relation of husband or wife. On this, however, more than on any other, depends our happiness and the happiness of those connected with us. You will, perhaps, say that in writing to those who have already made their choice, and whose position, in this respect, is unalterable, it cannot be of any use to make such remarks. But I feel, and you will feel with me, that, in our children, we live our own lives over again; and the more we have suffered from any particular mistake, which we may ourselves have made, the more anxious we should feel to shield those dear to us from similar misfortune. “There are many people at the present time who are thinking a great deal about the suffering of the poor, and are trying to find out how it arises, and how it can in some way be lessened. One very general opinion is, that much misery is brought about by early and imprudent marriages. “One great difference between people in my position of life and in yours is, that, generally speaking, before incurring the expenses attendant on married life, we wait to reap the fruits of many years of careful industry. We frequently defer marriage until both parties are even between thirty and forty years of age, instead of taking this important step without making any provision for the future, and often before either the one or the other has attained the age of twenty. “A lady once entreated a girl of eighteen to defer her marriage until she, or her intended husband, had saved sufficient money to provide a little comfortable furniture for their room, as well as to have a few pounds in hand to fall back upon in case of necessity. She pointed out to her what sufferings might arise in many ways, if they did not follow her advice. The girl replied— “‘I think, if John and I don’t mind it, nobody else need trouble their heads about it. If trouble comes, we shall just have to bear it; and it is nothing to anybody else.’