The years had passed over him lightly, though any close observer would
have noted the slightly increased sternness discernible in the set of
the mouth, the squaring of the lean jaw. The eyes were as kind as ever,
the brow as calm, the hair had streaks of grey at the temples, but was
no thinner than of old.
On leaving the service, he had made a two years trip round the world,
and had then, after a year, spent in the capitals of Europe, joined an
exploring expedition to the heart of Africa. From thence he had returned
to India, and while there, a sudden desire had seized him to revisit
Italy, the land of his youthful dreams. Often during these years of
voluntary exile had the face and form of Ragna risen before his eyes;
she had left an indelible impression on him. He had been sincere when he
said and wrote, "Now and always." His was a tenacious nature, both in
hate and in love, and the circumstances attending his love for Ragna had
been such as to brand that passion upon his soul, as a mark made upon
soft clay is fixed forever by the firing in the kiln. His love for her
and his indignation at the unworthiness of her betrayer had caused him
to break all the threads of his life, had made of him a wanderer upon
the face of the earth. True to his word, he had never seen Prince Mirko
again, after that last interview in Rome, and if he sometimes thought
wistfully of the earlier days of boyish comradeship, the brutal
revelation of the real character of the man had effectually killed all
but a somewhat sentimental cast of memory. He had been thoroughly and
simply in earnest in the letter which he had written to Ragna on leaving
Rome, and her answer had hurt him. He understood her however, too well,
not to read between the lines of her answer, and to see in the
apparently cold and self-sufficient note, the effort of a nature
grievously wounded, striving to hide that wound, even from the hand of
the physician.
"She will understand in time, and will turn to me," he thought, and had
been content to wait. As time went on and no word came from her, he
placed her, as it were, in the inner sanctuary of heart and mind, apart
from the daily interests of his life. She was not dethroned, he still
awaited her summons,--it had become a habit of mind with him to believe
that it would come--but he was unconsciously growing to consider the
eventuality of that summons more in the light of a possibility than of a
probability. This, until his visit to Rome.
It seemed to him on his arrival there, that the old memories lay in wait
for him in the streets, the old pain awoke in his heart, the old
indignation burned in his veins. He knew himself for a lonely man,
up-rooted from his own country, and the regret for what might have been,
had Ragna but accepted his proposal, aroused in him a burning resentment
against fate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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