Railway Adventures and Anecdotes: Extending over More Than Fifty Years
History
Railway Adventures and Anecdotes: Extending over More Than Fifty Years
Railroads
On one of the seats in a railway train was a married lady with a little
daughter; opposite, facing them, was another child, a son, and a coloured
“lady” with a baby. The mother of these children was a beautiful matron
with sparkling eyes, in exuberant health and vivacious spirits. Near her
sat a young lieutenant, dressed to kill and seeking a victim. He scraped
up an acquaintance with the mother by attentions to the children. It was
not long before he was essaying to make himself very agreeable to her,
and by the time the sun began to decline, one would have thought they
were old familiar friends. The lieutenant felt that he had made an
impression—his elation manifested it. The lady, dreaming of no wrong,
suspecting no evil, was apparently pleased with her casual acquaintance.
By-and-by the train approached a tunnel. The gay lieutenant leaned over
and whispered something in the lady’s ear. It was noticed that she
appeared as thunderstruck, and her eyes immediately flamed with
indignation. A moment more and a smile lighted up her features. What
changes? That smile was not one of pleasure, but was sinister. It was
unperceived by the lieutenant. She made him a reply which apparently
rejoiced him very much. For the understanding properly this narrative,
we must tell the reader what was whispered and what was replied. “I mean
to kiss you when we get into the tunnel!” whispered the lieutenant. “It
will be dark; who will see it?” replied the lady. Into earth’s
bowels—into the tunnel ran the train. Lady and coloured nurse quickly
change seats. Gay lieutenant threw his arms around the lady sable,
pressed her cheek to his, and fast and furious rained kisses on her lips.
In a few moments the train came out into broad daylight. White lady
looked amazed—coloured lady, bashful, blushing—gay lieutenant befogged.
“Jane,” said the white lady, “what have you been doing?” “Nothing!”
responded the coloured lady. “Yes, you have,” said the white lady, not
in an undertone, but in a voice that attracted the attention of all in
the carriage. “See how your collar is rumpled and your bonnet smashed.”
Jane, poor coloured beauty, hung her head for a moment, the “observed of
all observers,” and then, turning round to the lieutenant, replied:
“_This man kissed me in the tunnel_!” Loud and long was the laugh that
followed among the passengers. The white lady enjoyed the joke
amazingly. Lieutenant looked like a sheep-stealing dog, left the
carriage at the next station, and was seen no more.
—_Cape Argus_.
THE GRAVEDIGGER’S SUGGESTION.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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