Pridhomme had been lying in wait for me, and picked me up as I left the
hotel. We went to the theatre, a wretched affair certainly, the
absurdities of which I should have much enjoyed, had I not been bored to
death by the eternal Jemima. That lady was like Jemima and that was
not. Was the person in the blue silk dress as tall as Jemima; or the
other in the white muslin quite as stout? Jemima was all he could talk
about, till at length, I was so horribly Jemimaed that I almost audibly
wished Jemima jammed down his throat; but as everything must have an
end, even when a midshipman talks about Jemima, we, at length, got to
the tailor's door, which was opened by the lovely Jemima in _propria
persona_. Not a step beyond the step of the door was the lover
admitted, whilst the poor wretch was fain to feast on the ecstasies of
remembering that he was permitted to grasp the tip of her forefinger
whilst he sighed forth his fond good-night.
In a few days, the _Eos_, being perfectly equipped, dropped down to
Sheerness, and I, for the first time, slept under the roof provided for
me by his Britannic Majesty. That is to say, I was coffined and
shrouded in a longitudinal canvas bag, hung up to the orlop deck by two
cleats, one at each end, in a very graceful curve, very useful in
forming that elegant bend in the back so much coveted by the exhibitors
in Regent Street.
I had taken a rather sentimental leave of Jemima, who had somehow or
another persuaded me to exchange love-tokens with her. That which I
gave her was a tolerably handsome writing-desk, which I could not help
buying for her, as she had taken a great fancy to it; indeed, she told
me it had annoyed her for some months, because it stood so provokingly
tempting in the shop-window just over the way; and besides, "She should
be so--so happy to write me such pretty letters from it." The last
argument was convincing, and the desk was bought; in return for which
she presented me with a very old silver pencil-case--its age, indeed,
she gave me to understand, ought to be its greatest value in my eyes--
she had had it so long: it was given to her by her defunct mother. So I
promised to keep it as long as I lived. Really, there was no chance of
my ever wearing it out by use, for it was certainly quite useless; but
love dignifies things so much! After having split it up by shoving a
piece of black-lead pencil into it, I put it into my waistcoat pocket,
saying to the heiress of the Chatham tailor--
"_Rich_ gifts prove poor when givers prove unkind."
"Ah, Ralph!" said the giver of rich gifts, "I shall never prove unkind."
So we parted; and as I walked down the street, she waved her hand,
which would have been really white, had she not scored her forefinger in
a most villainous manner by her awkward method of using her needle, when
her father was short of hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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