(Spoken)--The genteeler and politer part of the world might feel a little inclined to call this piggish behaviour; but certainly after a long and fatiguing journey, nothing can be more refreshing than a _drap of the cratur_; and deeming this the regular mart for the good stuff, in he bolts, leaving his master to sing as long as he pleased--Hey derry, he deny, &c. Here three snuffy Tabbies he put to the rout, Hey derry, ho derry, fal de rai lft, With three drams to the quartern, that moment serv'd out, Hey derry, ho derry, fal de rai la; The pig gave a grunt, and the clown gave a roar, When the whole of the party lay flat on the floor! (Spoken)--Yes, there they lay all of a lump; and a precious group there was of them: The old women, well prun'd with snuff and twopenny, and bang-up with gin and bitters--the fair ones squalled; the clown growled like a bear with a broken head; the landlord, seeing all that could be seen as they roll'd over each other, stared, like a stuck pig! while this grand chorus of soft and sweet voices from the swinish multitude was accompanied by the pig with his usual grunt, and a Hey derry, ho derry, &o. The pig soon arose, and the door open flew, Hey derry, ho derry, fal de ral la, When this scrambling group was expos'd to my view, Hey deny, ho derry, fal de ral la; He set off again, without waiting for Jack, And not liking London, ran all the way back! (Spoken)--The devil take the pig! (said the Bumpkin) he is more trouble than enough. “The devil take you (said Miss Sukey Snuffle) for you are the greatest hog of the two; I dare say, if the truth was known, you are brothers.”--“I declare I never was so exposed in all my life (said Miss Delia Doldrum.) There's my beautiful bloom petticoat, that never was rumpled before in all my life--I'm quite shock'd!”--“Never mind, (said the landlord) nobody cares about it; tho' I confess it was a shocking affair.”--'I wish he and his pigs were in the horse-pond (continued she, endeavouring to hide her blushes with her hand)--Oh my--oh my!'--“What?” (said Boniface)--'Oh, my elbow! (squall'd out Miss Emilia Mumble) I am sure I shall never get over it.'--“Oh yes you will (continued he) rise again, cheer your spirits with another drop of old Tom, and you'll soon be able to sing Hey derry, ho derry, &c. By mutual consent the old women all swore, Hey derry, ho derry, fal de rai la, That the clown was a brute, and his pig was a boar, Hey derry, ho derry, fal de rai la; He paid for their liquor, but grumbled, good lack, Without money or pig to gang all the way back.