Mr. Birnie.--“Well young gentleman, what have you to say to this?” The one who undertook to be spokesman, threw himself in the most familiar manner possible across the table, and having fixed himself perfectly at his ease, he said, “The fact was, they had been dining at a tavern, and were rather drunk, and on their way through the Piazza, they endeavoured by running away to give the slip to their three companions, who were still worse than themselves. The others, however called out Stop thief! and the watchman stopped them; whereat they naturally felt irritated, and certainly gave the watchman a bit of a thrashing.” Mr. Birnie.--“How was he to know you were not the thieves? He did quite right to stop you, and I am very glad he has brought you here--Pray, Sir, what are you?” Defendant.--“I am nothing, Sir.” Mr. Birnie (to another).--“And what are you?” Defendant.--“Why, Sir, I am--I am, Sir, nothing.” Mr. Birnie.--“Well, this is very fine. Pray, Sir, (turning to the third, who stood twirling his hat) will you do me the favour to tell what you are?” This gentleman answered in the same way. “I am, as my friends observed, nothing.” Mr. Birnie.--“Well, gentlemen, I must endeavour to make something of you. Here, gaoler, let them he locked up, and I shall not part with them until I have some better account of their occupations.” We have heard it asserted, that Nine tailors make a man. How many Dandies, professing to be Nothing, may be required to accomplish the proposed intention of making Something, may (perhaps by this time) be discovered by the worthy Magistrate. We however suspect he has had severe work of it. ~74~~“Leave me alone,” exclaimed the almost petrified Dandy. “Not till you have given me the satisfaction I have a right to demand,” cried Tom. “I insist upon an explanation and apology--or demand your card--who are you, Sir? That's my address,” instantly handing him a card. “I am not to be played with, nor will I suffer your escape, after the insulting manner in which you have spoken, with impunity.” Though not prepared for such a rencontre, the Dandy, who now perceived the inflexible temper of Tom's mind--and a crowd of people gathering round him--determined at least to put on as much of the character of a man as possible, and fumbled in his pocket for a card; at length finding one, he slipped it into Tom's hand. “Oh, Sir,” said he, “if that's the case, I'm your man, _demmee_,--how, when, or where you please, 'pon honor.” Then beckoning to a hackney coach, he hobbled to the door, and was pushed in by coachee, who, immediately mounted the box and flourishing his whip, soon rescued him from his perilous situation, and the jeers of the surrounding multitude.