Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
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Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
From long acquaintance with the world, the imagination becomes
familiarised with what at first inspired horror; or from experience of
the weakness of human nature, the temptations to which it is exposed,
and the gradations by which one error often leads on to guilt, the
charitable learn to pity the sinner, while they condemn the sin. But
Lucy’s perceptions of right and wrong were not blunted by habitual
intercourse with the faulty, nor softened by the consideration of their
temptations or their repentance. She saw but the broad distinction
between virtue and vice, and she looked on the latter with the
indignant horror of youth. Charity is not the characteristic virtue of
the young.
While she was absorbed in such new and painful reflections, there came
a tap at the door, and her maid informed her that Lord Montreville
was awake, and was incessantly asking for her. She started at the
interruption, and, quickly dismissing the maid, stood for a few moments
paralysed.
She had looked with loathing at the letter, till her tears had all
retreated to their cells. She roused herself, and hastily pushing the
other papers into an escrutoire, she stopped to pick up the fatal
epistle.
At that moment the servant entered. She instinctively crammed it into
her bosom, but as instantly pulled it forth again, as if its very touch
was contamination.
Lord Montreville was so impatient for her return, that a second
messenger had been despatched to hasten her. She rushed to her own
apartment, where she placed the letter under lock and key, and then was
obliged, with what composure she could muster, to repair to the bedside
of her husband.
He greeted her with a pleased smile,—he extended his pale and emaciated
hand to take her’s. “Dearest Lucy,” he said, “it seems an age since you
left me; it does me good to know my kindest and best nurse is near me.
I cannot bear to feel that what I love best is absent from me.”
His hand lay passively in hers; her soul recoiled from him. She could
not return the pressure of his hand, she could not meet his eyes.
“Falsehood upon his lips,” she thought, “when scarcely snatched from
the jaws of death, when still trembling on the verge of the grave.”
She made an effort to speak, and, assuring him the doctor forbade all
excitement or emotion, she begged him to compose himself to sleep.
“You will not leave me, then?”
She promised she would not, and she seated herself by the bedside. All
was quiet; he gradually dozed off into a light slumber; and there she
sat bewildered, confused, fancying all that had occurred must be a
dream! Could he speak so kindly, so tenderly, and yet be false? Could
he address her as the being he loved best, while he preferred to her
this Alicia? Could he, with death staring him in the face, thus add a
deliberate lie to all his other sins? Yet there existed the letter—the
letter which expressed implicit reliance on his affections!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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