Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
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Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
In the common acceptation of the word, she did not spoil her boy. She
never gave him the plaything he cried for; she never yielded to his
entreaties in allowing him what she imagined could be hurtful either
to his body or his mind; but every action of her own, and of every one
belonging to her, had reference to him alone.
The best room in the house was his sleeping-apartment, as being the
most airy and wholesome; the largest sitting-room was appointed for his
playing nursery; if he looked pale, an air of consternation pervaded
the whole household; if he was naughty, the wretchedness of his mother
was reflected in the serious faces of his attendants; if he was good,
every one appeared revived; and rewards and pleasures were provided,
however inconvenient it might be to gratify his fancy of the moment.
Those who were interested for his mother, and wished to gratify her
feelings, knew that she was only accessible to pleasurable emotions
through her boy, and they vied with each other in attentions and
kindness to him.
Nothing could be more natural, more amiable, than the widowed mother’s
devotion to her only child; and she fancied that she was training his
mind to all that was right and virtuous; for these indulgences were
rewards for good behaviour. Alas! in her anxious tenderness one great
lesson was neglected. She forgot to impress upon his mind that he was
only one of many creatures, all equal in the sight of their Creator.
Walter necessarily felt that the universe was formed for him alone, and
that every thing ought to be subservient to his welfare.
He was a beautiful and an intelligent boy, with all his mother’s
depth and tenderness of feeling; with all his father’s energy in
accomplishing his purpose; but being accustomed to find those vehement
feelings, those energies, the ruling principle of the little world
around him, he early learned to rule over that little world with the
most despotic sway. He loved his mother; but he loved her as tyrants
love that which ministers to their pleasure. She did not dive so deeply
into his little heart, satisfied with feeling herself necessary to
his happiness. Her gentle and habitually melancholy countenance could
be lighted up with joy at any proof of affection on his part; and she
looked round with proud exultation when he cried, and wept aloud, at
the prospect of her leaving him to pass a few days with a friend. She
did not leave him. She yielded to this passionate expression of his
ungoverned feelings, and by so doing confirmed him in the habitual
indulgence of them.
The period came when it was deemed proper that he should go to school.
This was a severe trial; but here her duty was plain before her.
She knew that it would be sacrificing her boy’s welfare to her own
gratification if she persisted in keeping him at home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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