Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
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Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
Lord Sotheron was constant in his attentions, and spared no pains to
soften and alleviate Maria’s sufferings. He had once truly loved her;
and when he felt assured he was about to lose this devoted being, she
rose before his imagination, beautiful, and brilliant, the cynosure of
all hearts and eyes, as when he had first known her, and his conscience
told him he had himself blasted all he had so passionately admired.
One day Maria was much exhausted by a more than usually severe attack
of palpitation, and they had moved her towards an open window. They
were all anxiously attending upon her, and she gazed round upon the
group with tenderness and thankfulness.
“I am better now,” she said, “so do not look so much frightened,
dear children. It is going off for this time. Still there is no use
in our deceiving ourselves and each other. I have long felt pain and
oppression, which I thought would one day prove fatal. But I bless a
merciful Providence who has granted me time for repentance and for
preparation, and now I bless that Providence who will soon release me
from my life of penance.
“I trust that the time allowed me has not been allowed me in vain.
Each bitter pang that I have endured, I have considered as part of my
atonement, and I have offered it up to offended Heaven. There is one
pain I have been spared! one joy I have tasted! you have been all a
mother’s heart could wish—continue as you are. Be good, my blessed
children—be good, and trust to Providence for the rest. Walter, in
virtue alone there is true happiness! Is it not so! Dearly as I have
loved you, and how dearly even you yourself can scarcely know,—Heaven
alone, who knows how I have wrestled with my love, can know—dearly,
devotedly as I have loved you, not for one moment, even when you
seemed to love me with affection equal to my own, have I known
happiness—happiness—that is only for the guiltless.”
“_Seemed_ to love you, Maria!” whispered Lord Sotheron in a half
reproachful tone.
“I did not mean to say that, dearest Walter. Thank you for your past
affection, thank you for your present tenderness. Oh! it is all here,
Walter! that love of many years, is all here, in this breaking, this
bursting heart, but I hope sanctified by our long union. If it is
sinful to feel it on the threshold of the grave, Heaven be merciful to
me!” and she clasped her hands. “Pray for me, my children, now, and
pray for me when I am gone. Your innocent prayers will win me mercy!
Pray for me! pray for me!” and she sank back exhausted. The state of
excitement into which her feelings had been worked, brought on a fresh
attack of palpitation more severe than the former, which was followed
by a fainting fit. From this time she spoke but little, and before
the close of the following day, her spirit, we will hope her purified
spirit, passed from its earthly tenement.
END OF THE SECOND VOLUME.
VOLUME THE THIRD.
ELLEN WAREHAM.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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