Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
General
Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
“Oh, Algernon! I have just been praying for strength and resignation,
and I thought I had obtained my prayer. Do not speak to me in those
tender tones. They melt away my whole soul, and I will, I will be firm.
I must no longer allow myself to use such expressions; but I cannot
even try not to feel all and more than I ever felt before. Spare my
weakness, Algernon, and remember that dearly as I prize your love,
I prize your good opinion still more. That is the one thought which
enables me to exist, I believe.”
He looked on her with admiration, almost amounting to awe.
“My good opinion! You are as much superior to me, or to any other
living being, as the angels of heaven are to the common run of mortals.
I adore you, I venerate you, as one of them.” He knelt at her feet.
“Speak, and I will obey you. I place myself under your guidance. I will
regulate my actions by what you deem calculated to ensure your own
peace of mind. I will prove to you that I can equal you at least in
self-devotion; though my heart may break, I will not yield to you in
that!”
“Get up, Algernon. Do not kneel at my feet. I cannot bear to hear you
speak in such a manner. These scenes must not recur. We only agonize
each other, and render ourselves unfit for our task. Leave me, dearest;
leave me to compose myself!”
“You bid me leave you, and I will do so. But will you not give me your
hand?—that dear hand which, after all, was pledged to me at the altar!”
He took her unresisting hand. “It was I who placed that ring upon your
finger, Ellen; you then swore to me eternal fidelity, you swore to love
me ‘till death us did part.’ Can any thing cancel that vow?” And he
drew her gently towards him.
“O God! nothing, nothing!” She dashed his hand from her, and rushed to
the opposite corner of the room. She glared wildly upon him. “Nothing,
nothing can cancel that first dreadful vow! Oh! do not remind me of
those words. It was then the vision came over me! He, whom you tell
me is my husband, seemed to rise up between us, Algernon! It was a
forewarning of what was to happen! I ought to have obeyed the warning—I
should have stopped before”—her voice faltered, but she continued in a
tone of unutterable sweetness—“before those words made me the happiest
woman in the whole world!” She hid her face with her hands, and burst
into tears.
“Bless you for what you have just said, my own Ellen!”
“Do not call me your own Ellen; I am not—can never be! In mercy leave
me—this agony is not to be endured!”
Slowly and reluctantly he withdrew: he stood for a few moments at the
door, and then he closed it, and she remained alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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