Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
General
Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
She commanded post horses to be instantly sent for; she summoned her
maid; she desired the nurses, the children, the _bonne_, to prepare
instantly for a sudden journey, and she sat down to write the appalling
news to Algernon, to dash all the hopes which he had fostered, to doom
him also to a future as blank and cheerless as her own.
She began, “I have scarcely the power to write what I am now compelled
to impart to you. In a few more hours I shall have left this beloved
home; in a few more hours I shall be an outcast from this blessed
place, where I have lived as your most happy, and your honoured wife.
Thank you, Algernon, for the unutterable happiness I have for two years
enjoyed: thank you for all your love, all your tenderness.
“I am going to my father. Poor man! he little knows the shame and
misery which await the decline of his life; he who so valued the
opinion of the world! Oh, Algernon, I am doomed to bring a curse on all
who are connected with me! I shall bring his grey hairs with sorrow
to the grave; I have cast a blight over the dignified and prosperous
career which awaited you; I have been the bane of that unhappy man
whose ungoverned, ill-fated love for me led him to practise the deceit
which has worked us all so much woe. My name will be a lasting
disgrace to my children,—all of them!
“Algernon! when I think of you, my heart is near breaking; when I think
of your return to your desolate home, when I know how you will miss
me,—for I judge too well from my own, what your feelings will be,—when
I think how you will miss the children, too! Heavens, I have just
ordered the nurse to prepare herself and Agnes for our sad journey!—But
what right have I to do so? She is your child, Algernon, and shall
I deprive you of that one consolation? Shall I deprive her of an
honourable station to drag her with me into shame and degradation? No!
my wretchedness can scarcely know increase, and you shall be greeted on
your return by her smiles, her out-stretched arms, her lovely attempts
to prattle. I leave you that precious legacy. She will remind you of
her who loves you still with tenfold fervour, though it is now a crime
to do so.
“There is a sort of pleasure in sacrificing something to you: you shall
keep her and cherish her. I expect my brother every moment: he and the
other members of the house have likewise received communications from
Gratz. I cannot add another word—I cannot sign myself,—for, oh! what
name do I now bear?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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