Recollections of a Long Life: An AutobiographyCuyler, Theodore L. (Theodore Ledyard)
Religion
Recollections of a Long Life: An Autobiography
Cuyler, Theodore L. (Theodore Ledyard)
Clergy -- United States -- Biography; Cuyler, Theodore L. (Theodore Ledyard), 1822-1909
Of the qualifications and duties of a minister's wife, enough has been
written to stock a small library. My own very positive conviction has
always been that her vows were made primarily, not to a parish, but to
her own husband; and if she makes his home and heart happy; if she
relieves him of needless worldly cares; if she is a constant inspiration
to him in his holy work, she will do ten-fold more for the church than
if she were the manager and mainspring of a dozen benevolent societies.
There is another obligation antecedent to all acts of Presbytery or
installing councils--the sweet obligation of motherhood. The woman who
neglects her nursery or her housekeeping duties, and her own heart-life
for any outside work in the parish does both them and herself serious
injury. If a minister's wife has the grace of a kind and tactful
courtesy toward all classes, she may contribute mightily to the popular
influence of her husband; and if she is a woman of culture and literary
taste, she can be of immense service to him in the preparation of his
sermons. The best critic that ministers can have is one who has a right
to criticize and to "truth it in love." Who has a better right to
reprove, exhort and correct with all long suffering than the woman who
has given us her heart and herself? There are a hundred matters in the
course of a year in which a sensible woman's instincts are wiser than
those of the average man. There is many a minister who would have been
spared the worst blunders of his life, if he had only consulted and
obeyed the instinctive judgment of a loving and sensible wife. If we
husbands hold the reins, it is the province of a wise and devoted wife
to tell us where to drive.
It is very probable that my readers have suspected that this portraiture
of a model wife for a minister was drawn from actual life; and they are
right in their conjectures. In the discourse delivered to my flock on
the twenty-fifth anniversary of my pastorate was the following passage,
to whose truth the added years have only added confirmation, "There is
still another sweet mercy which has been vouchsafed to me in the true
heart that has never faltered and the gentle footstep that has never
wearied in the pathway of life for two and thirty years. From how many
mistakes and hasty indiscretions her quick sagacity has kept me, you can
never know. If you have any tribute of thanks for any good which I have
done you, do not offer it to me; go carry it down to yonder home, of
which she has been the light and the joy, and _lay it at her unselfish
feet."_ On that occasion (for the _only_ time) I heard a murmur of
applause run through my congregation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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