will wonder at this circumstance distressing a young person who
three times a week exhibits herself on the stage to several hundred
people, but there I do not distinguish the individual eyes that are
fixed on me, and my mind is diverted from the annoyances of my real
situation by the distressful circumstances of my feigned one.
Moreover, to add to my sorrows, at the beginning of the evening a
lady spilled some coffee over a beautiful dress which I was wearing
for the first time. Now I will tell you what consolations I had to
support me under these trials; first, the self-approving
consciousness of the smiling fortitude with which I bore my gown's
disaster; secondly, a lovely nosegay, which was presented to me;
and lastly, at about twelve o'clock, when the rooms were a little
thinned, a dance for an hour which sent me home perfectly satisfied
with my fate. By the bye, I asked Campbell if he knew any method to
preserve my flowers from fading, to which he replied, "Give them to
me, and I will immortalize them." I did so, and am expecting some
verses from him in return.
On Thursday next I come out in Mrs. Beverley; I am much afraid of
it. The play wants the indispensable attribute of all works of
art--imagination; it is a most touching story, and Mrs. Beverley is
a most admirable creature, but the story is such as might be read
in a newspaper, and her character has its like in many an English
home. I think the author should have idealized both his incidents
and his heroine a little, to produce a really fine play. Mrs.
Beverley is not one shade inferior to Imogen in purity, in conjugal
devotion, and in truth, but while the one is to all intents and
purposes a model wife, a poet's touch has made of the other a
divine image of all that is lovely and excellent in woman; and yet,
certainly, Imogen is quite as _real_ a conception as Mrs. Beverley.
The absence of the poetical element in the play prevents my being
enthusiastic about my part, and I am the more nervous about it for
that reason; when I am excited I feel that I can excite others, but
in this case--However, we shall see; I may succeed with it better
than I expect, and perhaps my audience may like to see me as a
quiet, sober lady, after the Belvideras and Juliets and Euphrasias
they have hitherto seen me represent. I will tell you my dress: it
is a silver gray silk, and a white crape hat with drooping
feathers. I think it will be very pretty. My father acts Beverley
with me, which will be a great advantage to me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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