A great yearning pity--purer, nobler, with less of the satyr and more
of the god in it, than in any access of human passion between man and
woman--seizes him as he looks at her, sitting there so forlorn, with
one thin hand lifted to shield her weary purple-lidded eyes, that have
grown dim with weeping for "her boy."
"Poor little soul!" he says, compassionately; and he takes, with
brotherly intimacy, the other hand, that lies listless in her lap, and
lays fond lips upon it.
When one is on the verge of a burst of crying, a harsh word may avert
the catastrophe, but a kind one inevitably precipitates it. With how
unjust, unreasonable a hatred does one often regard the person who
ill-advisedly speaks that kind word! As for Esther, she buries her face
on his shoulder and begins to sob hysterically. Her hat falls off,
and her bare, defenceless head leans on his breast, while the autumn
wind wafts one long lock of her scented hair against his face. She has
forgotten that he _was_ her lover, has forgotten that he is a man; she
remembers only that he is a friend, which is a sexless thing--that he
is the one being who cares about her, in all the great, full, crowded
world. Despite the utter abandonment of her attitude, despite the
clinging closeness of her soft supple form to his, he feels none of the
painful stings of passion that so lately beset him. They are tamed, for
the moment, by a nobler emotion: they dare as little assail him now, as
they dare assail the holy saints in Paradise. With any other man such
abandonment might have been dangerous: with him she is safe. He lays
his kind broad hand on her ruffled head, and strokes it, just as Jack
used to do, in the pleasant days before he went.
"Come to us, Essie!" he says, with persuasive tenderness; "we'll be
good to you; we won't plague you; you would have come to us as my wife,
why won't you come as my sister?"
"Because I like buying things better than being given them!" she
answers, vehemently, though still incoherent from her tears. "If
I had come as your wife, I should have given you something in
exchange,--_myself_, body and soul, my whole life. It would have been
of no value _really_, but you would have thought it something; as your
sister, I shall give you absolutely nothing!"
"Child! child! why are you so proud?" he asks, with mournful
reproachfulness. "Why are you so bent on standing alone? Which of us
_can_ stand alone in this world? We all have to lean upon one another,
more or less, and the strongest of us upon God!"
"Yes, I know that!--I know that!" she answers, hastily; "but I would
far rather beg, and have to be obliged to any common stranger that I
had never seen before, and that most probably I should never see again,
than to you. With them I should, at all events, start fair: I should
have no old debts to weigh me down; but to you I owe so much already,
that I am racking my brain to think how I can pay some part of it,
instead of contracting new ones."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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