Gerard smiles contemptuously. "I do believe that you women lose the
sight of your eyes when you look at one another."
"What do you mean?" she asks, with some animation. "Is it possible that
you don't agree with me as to her being quite _passée?_"
"I think her, as I always thought her," he answers, steadily, "the
loveliest woman I ever beheld; a little additional thinness or paleness
does not affect her much. Hers is not mere skin beauty: as you say,
tastes differ, and I like _those black women_."
"That is a civil speech to make to me!" she answers, reddening--an
insult to her appearance or her clothes being the one weapon that has
power to pierce the scales of her armour of proof.
St. John smiles again. "When we engaged to marry one another, did we
also engage to think each other the handsomest specimens of the human
animal Providence ever framed?"
"It is, at least, not usual for a man to express an open preference for
another woman to the girl to whom he is engaged."
"It is no question of _preference_," he answers, quietly. "I had no
thought of drawing any comparison between you and Miss Craven at the
moment; I was not thinking of you."
"You said she was _the_ loveliest girl you had ever seen!" objects
Constance, pouting.
"So I did--I do think her so," he rejoins, calmly. "If there is some
defect in my eyes, hindering me from seeing things as they are, it
is my misfortune, not my fault. Cannot you be content," he asks,
banteringly, "with being the _next loveliest?_"
She turns away her head, too indignant to answer.
He changes his tone. "Constance," he says, gravely, "when I proposed
to you, did not I tell you, honestly, what I could give you and what I
could not? Love (odd as it may sound between engaged people), and the
blind admiration that accompanies love, I had not got to offer you;
this is true, is not it?"
"Perfectly true," she answers, resentfully; "and as I am not, nor ever
was, one of those inflammable young ladies, who think that _burning_,
and _consuming_, and _melting_ are essential to married happiness,
I did not much regret its absence. I have always been brought up to
think," she continues, having recourse to the high moral tone which is
her last sure refuge, "that respect and esteem are the best basis for
two people to go upon, and I think so still."
"But do you and I respect and esteem one another?" he asks,
half-cynically, half-mournfully. "Is it possible that I can respect
you, who, though you did not care, or affect to care, two straws about
me personally--though you knew, at the time I asked you to marry me,
that I was madly in love with another woman--were yet willing to give
yourself to me, soul and body--to be bone of my bone, and flesh of my
flesh, because I was a good _parti_, as the vile phrase goes? And as
for me," he ends, in bitter self-contempt, "what is there in all my
idle wasted life, from beginning to end, that any one can respect or
esteem?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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