One must go to bed at some time or other, however puzzled and pondering
one may be; and in furtherance of this end, Esther, having reached
this turn in her reflections, begins to undress. In so doing she
misses a locket containing Jack's picture, which she always wears
round her neck. She must have dropped it downstairs, where perhaps
some housemaid's clumsy foot may tread upon it, and mar the dear, ugly
young face within. She must go and look for it, though the clock is
striking one. She takes up her candle, and runs lightly downstairs.
The gas is out. Great shadows from behind come up alongside, and then
stretch ahead of her; the statues glimmer ghostly chill from their
dark pedestals. With a shock of frightened surprise she sees a stream
of light issuing through the half-open door of the morning-room. Is
it burglars, or are the flowers giving a ball, as in Andersen's fair,
fanciful tale? She creeps gently up, and peeps in. The lamp still burns
on the centre table, and pacing up and down, up and down, as she has
been doing overhead, is a man buried in deepest thought. Fear gives
place to a great, pleasant shyness. "I--I--I have lost my locket," she
stammers.
He gives a tremendous start. "You up still!" he says, in astonishment.
"Lost your locket, have you? Oh! by-the-by, I found it just now; here
it is. Do you know (with a smile) I could not resist the temptation of
looking to see who you had got inside it. Are you very angry?"
"Very!" she answers, drooping her eyes under his. She could sit and
stare into Bob's eyes by the hour together, if she liked, only that it
would be rather a dull amusement; with St. John it is different.
"Don't go; stay and talk a minute. It is so pleasant to think that we
are the only conscious, sentient beings in the house--all the others
sleeping like so many pigs," he says, coming over to her with an
excited look on his face, such as calm, slow-pulsed English gentlemen
are not wont to wear.
"No, no, I cannot--I must not."
She has taken the bracelets off her arms, and the rose from her hair:
there she stands in her ripe, fresh beauty, with only the night and St.
John to look at her.
"Five minutes," he says, with pleading humility, but putting his back
against the door as he speaks.
"If you _prevent_ my going, of course I cannot help myself," she
answers, putting on a little air of offended dignity to hide her
tremulous embarrassment.
"Don't be offended! Do you know" (leaving his post of defence to follow
her)--"do you know what I have been doing ever since you went--_not_ to
bed apparently?"
"Drinking brandy and soda-water, probably" (looking rather surly, and
affecting to yawn).
"That would have been hardly worth mentioning. I have been wondering
whether my luck is on the turn. I have been da----I mean very unlucky
all my life. I never put any money on a horse that he was not sure to
be nowhere. Luck does turn, sometimes, doesn't it? Do you think mine is
turning?"
"How can I tell?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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