When the kingfisher had left them _tete-a-tete_, Mr. Tristram found
himself extremely awkwardly placed on the green bench. He felt that he
had not sufficiently considered beforehand the peculiar difficulties
which, in the language of the law, "had been imported into his case."
Rachel sat beside him in silence. If it could be chronicled that
sympathetic sorrow for her companion's predicament was the principal
feeling in her mind, she would have been an angel.
Mr. Tristram halted long between two opinions. At last he said,
brokenly:
"Can you forgive me?"
What woman, even with her white hair, even after a lifetime spent out of
ear-shot, ever forgets the tone her lover's voice takes when he is in
trouble? Rachel softened instantly.
"I forgave you long ago," she said, gently.
Something indefinable in the clear, full gaze that met his daunted him.
He stared apprehensively at her. It seemed to him as if he were standing
in cold and darkness looking in through the windows of her untroubled
eyes at the warm, sunlit home which had once been his, when it had been
exceeding well with him, but of which he had lost the key.
A single yellow leaf, crisped and hollowed to a fairy boat, came sailing
on an imperceptible current of air to rest on Rachel's knee.
"I was angry at first," she said, her voice falling across the silence
like another leaf. "And then, after a time, I forgave you. And later
still, much later, I found out that you had never injured me--that I had
nothing to forgive."
He did not understand, and as he did not understand he explained
volubly--for here he felt he was on sure ground--that, on the contrary,
she had much to forgive, that he had acted like an infernal blackguard,
that men were coarse brutes, not fit to kiss a good woman's
shoe-latchet, etc., etc. He identified his conduct with that of the
whole sex, without alluding to it as that of the individual Tristram. He
made it clear that he did not claim to have behaved better than most
men.
Rachel listened attentively. "And I actually loved him," she said to
herself.
"But the divine quality of woman is her power of forgiving. Her love
raises a man, transfigures him, ennobles his whole life," etc., etc.
"My love did not appear to have quite that effect upon you at the time,"
said Rachel, regretting the words the moment they were spoken.
Mr. Tristram felt relieved. Here at last; was the reproach he had been
expecting.
He assured her she did well to be angry. He accused himself once more.
He denounced the accursed morals of the day, above which he ought to
have risen, the morals, if she did but know it, of all unmarried men.
"That is a hit at Mr. Scarlett," she said, scornfully, to herself, and
then her cheek blanched as she remembered that Hugh was not exempt,
after all. She became suddenly tired, impatient; but she waited quietly
for the inevitable proposal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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