It was, alas! easy to say why she was repelled. But who shall say why she was attracted? Has the secret law ever been discovered which draws one man and woman together amid the crowd? Hugh was not among the best men who had wished to marry her, but nevertheless he was the only man since Mr. Tristram who had succeeded in making her think continually of him. And perhaps she half knew that though she had been loved by better men, Hugh loved her better than they had. Which would prove the stronger, the attraction or the repulsion? "How can I?" she said to herself, over and over again. "When I remember Lady Newhaven, how can I? When I think of what his conduct was for a whole year, how can I? Can he have any sense of honor to have acted like that? Is he even really sorry? He is very charming, very refined, and he loves me. He looks good, but what do I know of him except evil? He looks as if he could be faithful, but how can I trust him?" Hugh fell into a deep dejection after his narrow escape. Dr. Brown said it was nervous prostration, and Doll rode into Southminster and returned laden with comic papers. Who shall say whether the cause was physical or mental? Hugh had seen death very near for the first time, and the thought of death haunted him. He had not realized when he drew lots that he was risking the possibility of anything like _that_, such an entire going away, such an awful rending of his being as the short word _death_ now conveyed to him. He had had no idea it would be like _that_. And he had got to do it again. There was the crux. He had got to do it again. He leaned back faint and shuddering in the deck-chair in the rose-garden where he was lying. Presently Rachel appeared, coming towards him down the narrow grass walk between two high walls of hollyhocks. She had a cup of tea in her hand. "I have brought you this," she said, "with a warning that you had better not come in to tea. Mr. Gresley has been sighted walking up the drive. Mrs. Loftus thought you would like to see him, but I reminded her that Dr. Brown said you were to be kept very quiet." Mr. Gresley had called every day since the accident in order to cheer the sufferer, to whom he had been greatly attracted. Hugh had seen him once, and afterwards had never felt strong enough to repeat the process. "Must you go back?" he asked. "No," she said. "Mrs. Loftus and he are great friends. I should be rather in the way." And she sat down by him. "Are you feeling ill?" she said, gently, noticing his careworn face. "No," he replied. "I was only thinking. I was thinking," he went on, after a pause, "that I would give everything I possess not to have done something which I have done." Rachel looked straight in front of her. The confession was coming at last. Her heart beat. "I have done wrong," he said, slowly, "and I am suffering for it, and I shall suffer more before I've finished. But the worst is--" She looked at him.