A great peace was over all their intercourse. Perhaps it was the hush
before the storm, the shadow of which was falling, falling, with each
succeeding day across the minds of both. Once only a sudden gust of
emotion stirred the quiet air, but it dropped again immediately. It came
with the hour when Hugh confessed to her the blot upon his past. The
past was taking upon itself ever an uglier and more repulsive aspect as
he saw more of Rachel. It was hard to put into words, but he spoke of
it. The spectre of love rose like a ghost between them, as they looked
earnestly at each other, each pale even in the ruddy fire-light.
Hugh was truthful in intention. He was determined he would never lie to
Rachel. He implied an intrigue with a married woman, a deviation not
only from morality, but from honor. More he did not say. But as he
looked at her strained face it seemed to him that she expected something
more. A dreadful silence fell between them when he had finished. Had
she then no word for him. Her eyes--mute, imploring, dark with an agony
of suspense--met his for a second and fell instantly. She did not speak.
Her silence filled him with despair. He got up. "It's getting late. I
must go," he stammered.
She rose, mechanically, and put out her hand.
"May I come again?" he said, holding it more tightly than he knew, and
looking intently at her. Was he going to be dismissed?
The pain he caused her hand recalled her to herself. A look of
bewilderment crossed her face, and then she realized his suspense and
said, gravely, "You may come again."
He kissed the hand he held, and, as he did so, he knew for the first
time that she loved him. But he could not speak of love after what he
had just told her. He looked back when he reached the door, and saw her
standing where he had left her. She had raised the hand he had kissed to
her lips.
That was three days ago. Since then he had not dared to go and see her.
He could not ask her to marry him when he was within a few days of the
time when he was bound in so-called honor to give Lord Newhaven
satisfaction. He certainly could not be in her presence again without
asking her. The shadows of the last weeks had suddenly become ghastly
realities once more. The roar of Niagara drowned all other sounds. What
was he going to do? What was he going to do in the predicament towards
which he had been drifting so long, which was now actually upon him? Who
shall say what horror, what agony of mind, what frenzied searching for a
way of escape, what anguish of baffled love crowded in on Hugh's mind
during those last days? At the last moment he caught at a straw, and
wrote to Lord Newhaven offering to fight him. He did not ask himself
what he should do if Lord Newhaven refused. But when Lord Newhaven did
refuse his determination, long unconsciously fostered, sprang full-grown
into existence in a sudden access of passionate anger and blind rage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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