"Then it is he," she said. "When he stayed on and on up to to-day I
began to be afraid that it was not he, after all; and yet little things
made me feel sure it was, and that he was only waiting to do it before
me and the children. I have been so horribly frightened. Oh, if he might
only go away, and that I might never, never look upon his face again!"
Rachel sat down by the latticed window and looked out into the darkness.
She could not bear to look at Lady Newhaven. Was there any help anywhere
from this horror of death without, from this demon of jealousy within?
"I am her only friend," she said to herself, over and over again. "I
cannot bear it, and I must bear it. I cannot desert her now. She has no
one to turn to but me."
"Rachel, where are you?" said the feeble, plaintive voice.
Rachel rose and went unsteadily towards her. It was fortunate the room
was lit only by the fire-light.
"Sit down by me here on the sofa, and let me lean against you. You do
comfort me, Rachel, though you say nothing. You are the only true friend
I have in the world, the only woman who really loves me. Your cheek is
quite wet, and you are actually trembling. You always feel for me. I can
bear it now you are here, and he is going away."
* * * * *
When the boys had been reluctantly coerced to bed, Lord Newhaven rang
for his valet, told him what to pack, that he should not want him to
accompany him, and then went to his sitting-room on the ground-floor.
"Scarlett seems a fortunate person," he said, pacing up and down. "That
woman loves him, and if she marries him she will reform him. Is he going
to escape altogether in this world and the next--if there is a next? Is
there no justice anywhere? Perhaps at this moment he is thinking that he
has salved his conscience by offering to fight, and that, after all, I
can't do anything to prevent his living and marrying her if he chooses.
He knows well enough I shall not touch him, or sue for a divorce, for
fear of the scandal. He thinks he has me there. And he is right. But he
is mistaken if he thinks I can do nothing. I may as well go up to London
and see for myself whether he is still on his feet to-morrow night. It
is a mere formality, but I will do it. I might have guessed that she
would try to smirch her own name, and the boys through her, if she had
the chance. She will defeat me yet, unless I am careful. Oh, ye gods!
why did I marry a fool who does not even know her own interests? If I
had life over again I would marry a Becky Sharp, any she-devil
incarnate, if only she had brains. One cannot circumvent a fool,
because one can't foresee their line of action. But Miss West, for a
miracle, is safe. She has a lock-and-key face. But she is not for
Scarlett. Did Scarlett tell her himself in an access of moral
spring-cleaning preparatory to matrimony? No. He may have told her that
he had got into trouble with some woman, but not about the drawing of
lots.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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