Red Saunders: His Adventures West & EastPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders: His Adventures West & East
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Fiction; Humorous stories
A momentary silence followed, as it was not clear whose turn it was
to answer. Miss Mattie glanced around and finding Red's eye on
her, replied, "No sir--Mr. Demilt's house is about a mile further
up the road."
"Dear me!" said the young man ruefully. He was a spic-and-span,
intelligent looking man, with less of the dandy about him than the
air of a man who had never worn anything but clothes of the proper
trim, and become quite used to it. Nevertheless the sweat stood
out in drops on his forehead, for Fairfield's front "street"
savoured of a less moral region than it really was, on a broiling
summer day.
The young man sighed frankly and wiped his head. "Well, that's too
bad," he said. "I'm a stranger here--would you kindly tell me
where I could get some dinner?"
"What's the matter with that?" inquired Red, pointing to the roast,
which still preserved an air of fallen greatness. He had liked the
look of the other instantly.
The stranger looked first at Red and then at the roast. "The only
thing I can see the matter with that," he answered, "is that it is
a slice too thick."
"Keno!" cried Red, "you get it. Mattie, another plate and weapons
to fit. Sit down, sir, and rest your fevered feet. It you don't
like walking any better than I do, you've probably strewn fragments
of one of the commandments all the way from where the stage dropped
you to this apple tree."
"It seems to me that I did make some remarks that I never learned
at my mother's knee," returned the other laughing. "And I'm
exceedingly obliged for the invitation, as there doesn't seem to be
a hotel here, and I am but a degree south of starvation."
"Red or black?" asked the host, with a quick glance at his guest.
The other caught the allusion. "I haven't followed the deal," he
replied, "but I'll chance it on the red."
Somehow he felt instantly at home and at ease; it was a quality
that Red Saunders dispersed wherever he went.
"There you are, sir," said Red, forwarding a plate full of juicy
meat. "The ladies will supply the decorations."
"Do you like rice as a vegetable, sir?" inquired Miss Mattie.
"No--he doesn't," interrupted Red. "He likes it as an
animal--never saw anyone who looked less like a vegetable than our
friend," The young man's laugh rang out above the others.
Poor Miss Mattie was confused. "It's too bad of you, Will, to put
such a meaning on my words," she said.
"The strange part of it is," spoke the young man, seeing an
opportunity for a joke, and to deal courteously with his
entertainers at the same time. "The peculiar fact is, that my name
is Lettis."
"Lettuce?" cried Red. "Mattie, I apologise--he is a vegetable."
At which they all laughed again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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