Red Saunders' Pets and Other CrittersPhillips, Henry Wallace
General
Red Saunders' Pets and Other Critters
Phillips, Henry Wallace
Humorous stories
"Here," says I, "you've done a fool trick, and riled the boys
considerable. You'd been mad, too, if somebody'd made you ride all
day. But now you tell us just what happened. If it was intended to be
comical, we'll kick your pants into one long ache, and let it go at
that; if it was anything else, spit it out."
He stood there, fumblin' with his hands, runnin' the back of one over
his forehead once in a while, tryin' to talk, but unable. You could
see it stick in his throat.
"Take time," says I; "there's lots of it both sides of us."
Then he braced.
"Boys," says he, "I got a wife an' two little roosters too. I feel
sorry for the trouble I made that gentleman. I got split like this.
Come to this town with seven hundred dollars, to make a start. Five
hundred of that's my money, and two hundred m' wife saved up--and she
was that proud and trustin' in me!" He stopped for a full minute,
workin' his teeth together. "Well, I ain't much. I took to boozin'
and tryin' to put the faro games out of business. Well, I went
shy--quick. The five hundred was all right," he says, kind of defiant.
"Man's got a right to do what he pleases with his own money; but . . .
but . . . well, the girl worked hard for that little old two hundred.
God Almighty! I was drunk! You don't s'pose I'd do such a thing
sober?" turning to us, savage. "That ain't no excuse, howsomever," he
goes on, droppin' his crop. "Comes to the point when there's nothin'
left, and then I get a letter." He begun taking things out of his
pockets, dropping 'em from his big tremblin' hands. "It's somewheres
here--ain't that it? My eyes is no good."
He hands me a letter, addressed to Martin Hazel, in a woman's writing.
"Well, that druv me crazy. So help me God, sir, I ain't pleadin' for
no mercy--I'll take my medicine--but I didn't know no more what I was
doin' when I jumped your horse than nothin'. I only wanted to get away
from everybody. I was crazy. You read 'em that letter," says he,
taking hold of me. "See if it wouldn't drive any man crazy."
Now, there's no good repeatin' the letter. It wasn't written for an
audience, and the spellin' was accordin' to the lady's own views, but
it was all about how happy they was going to be when Martin had things
fixed up, and how funny the little boy was, and just like his pa, and,
oh, couldn't he fix it so's they'd be with him soon, for her heart was
near broke with waiting.
There was sand in my eyes before I'd read long, and that crowd of
fierce lynchers was lookin' industriously upon the ground. One man
chawed away on his baccy, like there'd be an earthquake if he stopped,
and another lad, with a match in his mouth, scratched a cigarette on
his leg, shieldin' it careful with his hands, and your Uncle Willy
tried to fill a straight face on a four-card draw, and to talk in a
tone of voice I wasn't ashamed of hearing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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