Reflections on the death of a porcupine and other essaysLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
Philosophy
Reflections on the death of a porcupine and other essays
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
English essays -- 20th century
I could not bear to have that dog around any more. Going quietly to him,
I suddenly gave him one hard hit with the stick, crying: “Go home!” He
turned quickly, and the end of the stick caught him on his sore nose.
With a fierce yelp, he went off like a wolf, downhill, like a flash,
gone. And I stood in the field full of pangs of regret, at having hit
him, unintentionally, on his sore nose.
But he was gone.
And then the present moon came, and again the night was clear. But in
the interval there had been heavy thunder-rains, the ditch was running
with bright water across the field, and the night, so fair, had not the
terrific, mirror-like brilliancy, touched with terror, so startling
bright, of the moon in the last days of June.
We were alone on the ranch. Madame went out into the clear night, just
before retiring. The stream ran in a cord of silver across the field, in
the straight line where I had taken the irrigation ditch. The pine tree
in front of the house threw a black shadow. The mountain slope came down
to the fence, wild and alert.
“Come!” said she excitedly. “There is a big porcupine drinking at the
ditch. I thought at first it was a bear.”
When I got out he had gone. But among the grasses and the coming wild
sunflowers, under the moon, I saw his greyish halo, like a pallid living
bush, moving over the field, in the distance, in the moonlit
_clair-obscur_.
We got through the fence, and following, soon caught him up. There he
lumbered, with his white spoon-tail spiked with bristles, steering
behind almost as if he were moving backwards, and this was his head. His
long, long hairs above the quills quivering with a dim grey gleam, like
a bush.
And again I disliked him.
“Should one kill him?”
She hesitated. Then with a sort of disgust:
“Yes!”
I went back to the house, and got the little twenty-two rifle. Now never
in my life had I shot at any live thing: I never wanted to. I always
felt guns very repugnant: sinister, mean. With difficulty I had fired
once or twice at a target: but resented doing even so much. Other people
could shoot if they wanted to. Myself, individually, it was repugnant to
me even to try.
But something slowly hardens in a man’s soul. And I knew now, it had
hardened in mine. I found the gun, and with rather trembling hands, got
it loaded. Then I pulled back the trigger and followed the porcupine. It
was still lumbering through the grass. Coming near, I aimed.
The trigger stuck. I pressed the little catch with a safety-pin I found
in my pocket, and released the trigger. Then we followed the porcupine.
He was still lumbering towards the trees. I went sideways on, stood
quite near to him, and fired, in the clear-dark of the moonlight.
And as usual I aimed too high. He turned, went scuttling back whence he
had come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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