Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
She got her reward that summer, when Alwynne came back, quieted, grave,
very tender with Elsbeth, clinging to her sometimes as if she were
nearer nine than nineteen. But Elsbeth was fated never to have her
happiness untainted. She was haunted by the conviction that Alwynne's
subduement was not natural. Her pleasure in being with her aunt was so
obvious that Elsbeth was worried, and knowing how infallibly Alwynne
turned to her in any trouble, she expected revelations. But none
came--only the manner was there that always accompanied them. Yet
something was wrong.... A quarrel with Clare Hartill.
But Alwynne, delicately questioned, chattered happily enough of their
holiday, and there were frequent letters----She was over-anxious, too,
to protest that she was perfectly well, and, in proof, exhausted herself
in unnecessary housework. But she continued restless and abstracted,
jumped absurdly at any sudden noise, and followed Elsbeth about like a
homeless dog.
And she had contracted an odd habit of coming late at night into
Elsbeth's room, trailing blankets and a pillow under her arm, to beg to
sleep on Elsbeth's sofa--just this once! She would laugh at herself and
pull Elsbeth's face down to her for a kiss, but she never gave any good
reason for her whim. But she came so often that Elsbeth had a bed made
up for her at last, and she slept there all the holidays, or lay awake.
Elsbeth suspected that she lay awake two nights out of three.
With the autumn term Alwynne seemed to rouse herself, and flung herself
into her work with her usual energy. Elsbeth saw less of her. The school
claimed all her days, and Clare the bulk of her evenings. She had moved
back into her own room again, and Elsbeth, her door ajar, would lie and
watch the crack of light across the passage, and grieve over her
darling's sleeplessness, and the shocking waste of electric light.
She wondered if the girl were working too hard.... Could that be at the
root of the matter? She grew so anxious that she could even consult
Clare on one of the latter's rare and formal calls.
"I am so glad to see you. Alwynne is changing; she'll be down in a
minute. I made her lie down. Miss Hartill, I'm very distressed about the
child. Do you think she looks well?"
Clare, less staccato than usual, certainly didn't think so.
"So thin--she's growing so dreadfully thin! Her neck! You should see her
neck--salt-cellars, literally! And she had such a beautiful neck! But
you've never seen her in evening dress."
Yes, Clare had seen her.
"And so white and listless! I don't know what to make of her. I don't
know what to do."
Clare, with unusual gentleness, would not advise Elsbeth to worry
herself. Possibly Alwynne was doing a little too much. Clare would make
enquiries. But she was sure that Elsbeth was over-anxious.
But Elsbeth was not to be comforted. She nodded to the open door.
"Look at her now--dragging across the hall."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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