Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
A very light kiss--a very airy and fugitive attempt at a kiss--a kiss
that suited the moment better than his mood; but Roger could be Fabian
in his methods. Alwynne rather thought that it was a curl brushing her
forehead: the tulips rather thought it wasn't. Roger could have settled
the matter, but they did not like to appeal to him. They were all a
little disturbed--more than a little uncertain how to act. The tulips'
attitude was frankly alarming to Alwynne, who (if the kiss had really
happened) was prepared to be dignified and indignant. The tulips,
however, appeared to think a kiss a pleasant enough indiscretion. "To
some one, at any rate, we are worth the kissing," quoth the tulips
defiantly, with irreverent eyes on a vision of Clare's horrified face.
Then, veering smartly, they reminded Alwynne, that from a patient,
protective Roger it was the most brotherly and natural of sequels to
their make-believe. Alwynne was not so sure; Roger was developing
characteristics of which the kiss (had it taken place) was not the least
exciting and alarming symptom. He was no longer the Roger of Dene days,
not a month dead; or rather, the Dene Roger was proving himself but a
facet of a many-sided personality--big, too--that was more than a match
for a many-sided Alwynne, with moods that met and enveloped hers, as a
woman's hands will catch and cover a baby's aimless fist. More than his
strength, his gentleness disturbed her. So long a prisoner to Clare,
ever bruising herself against the narrow walls of that labyrinthine
mind--she would have been indifferent to any harshness from him; but his
kindliness, his simplicity, unnerved her. He had been right--she had her
pride. Clare did not often guess when her self-control was undermined.
But with Roger--what was the use of pretending to Roger? It had been
comforting to have a good cry. His kiss had been comforting too. She
remembered the first of Clare's rare kisses--the thin fingers that
gripped her shoulders; the long, fierce pressure, mouth to mouth; the
rough gesture that released her, flung her aside.
But Roger--if, indeed, she had not dreamed--had been comforting. Here
the tulips broke in whimsically with the brazen suggestion that it would
be delightful to put one's arms round Roger's neck and return that
supposititious kiss. A remark, of course, of which no flower but a
flaunting scarlet tulip could be capable. Alwynne was horrified at the
tulips. Horrified by the tulips, worried by her own uncertainties,
puzzled by the imperturbable face smiling down at her. Certainly not a
conscience-stricken face. Probably the entire incident was a wild
imagining of the tulips. She had watched those nodding spring devils
long enough. Time to go home: at any rate it was time to go home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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