Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
"But I've told you already, it's a question of Marriage, Miss Hartill.
Surely you see the difference? How can you weigh the most intimate, the
most ideal friendship against the chance of getting married?" Elsbeth
was wholly in earnest.
Clare mounted her high horse.
"I can--I do. There are better things in life than marriage."
"For the average woman? Do you sincerely say so? The brilliant
woman--the rich woman--I don't count them, and there are other
exceptions, of course; but when her youth is over, what is the average
single woman? A derelict, drifting aimlessly on the high seas of life.
Oh--I'm not very clear; it's easy to make fun of me; but I know what I
mean and so do you. We're not children. We both know that an unmated
woman--she's a failure--she's unfulfilled."
Clare was elaborately bored.
"Really, Miss Loveday, the subject does not interest me."
"It must, for Alwynne's sake. Don't you realise your enormous
responsibility? Don't you realise that when you keep Alwynne entangled
in your apron strings, blind to other interests, when you cram her with
poetry and emotional literature, when you allow her to attach herself
passionately to you, you are feeding, and at the same time deflecting
from its natural channel, the strongest impulse of her life--of any
girl's life? Alwynne needs a good concrete husband to love, not a
fantastic ideal that she calls friendship and clothes in your face and
figure. You are doing her a deep injury, Miss Hartill--unconsciously, I
know, or I should not be here--but doing it, none the less. If you will
consider her happiness----"
Clare broke in angrily--
"I do consider her happiness. Alwynne tells you that I am essential to
her happiness."
"She may believe so. But she's not happy. She has not been happy for a
long time. But she believes herself to be so, I grant you that. But
consider the future. Shall she never break away? Shall she oscillate
indefinitely between you and me, spend her whole youth in sustaining two
old maids? Oh, Miss Hartill, she must have her chance. We must give her
what we've missed ourselves."
Clare appeared to be occupied in stifling a yawn. Her eyes were danger
signals, but Elsbeth was not Alwynne to remark them.
"In one thing, at least, I do thoroughly agree with you. I don't think
there is the faintest likelihood of Alwynne's wishing to marry at all at
present, but I do feel, with you, that it is unfair to expect her to
oscillate, as you rhetorically put it, between two old maids. I agree,
too, that I have responsibilities in connection with her. In fact, I
think she would be happier if she were with me altogether, and I intend
to ask her to come and live here. I shall ask her to-night. Don't you
think she will be pleased?"
Clare's aim was good. Elsbeth clutched at the arms of her chair.
"You wouldn't do such a thing."
Clare laughed shrilly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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